Fear Of Not Dying

Just like everything I write, it looks weird but let me explain. Of course I know that all lives will end. Most people have a fear of dying. I used to have that fear too. Ever since I’ve entered this new level of depression, I almost embrace death. Living in fear is terrible so there’s actually something liberating about shedding some fears, even though I’m still severely depressed.

I wish that’s all I have to say on the topic but then this entry would be inappropriately titled. I have irrational fears. They’re irrational to the point that it can’t even be conceptualized or put into words. It’s simply raw feelings of fear. The fear is stronger in the dark of night but it’s not as simple as a fear of the dark. I don’t need no night light shit or anything. It might be a fear of being surprised, shocked, or caught off guard. The fear is worse than death. Even though I feel this emotional bullshit, at least (I think) I have it under control. If it worsens, then death would become such an excellent escape from this fear.

I wish I had something interesting or funny to say but I guess I don’t. Umm… I guess I should try to conquer this fear in my head. When I set my mind to doing this, I shall call myself the fear fucker because fucking something is the ultimate proof of conquest. [Insert lame joke to replace FF from Final Fantasy to Fear Fucking.] Yup, I’m becoming too lazy to finish writing my own lame jokes.

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