Nightmare: Fat People, Sex

The title would’ve been a lot more offensive without the comma. It’s still offensive now, just a little less. I’m sure the comma is invisible for people who are offended though. Well, I just woke up at 5am to a nightmarish dream involving fat people and sex… This sounds terrible but I hope it at least intrigues you to read on and see what it’s about.

This dream wasn’t a full on nightmare. It was just a regular dream with a mild sense of fear, especially near the end when the fat people and sex came up. In this dream, I was in some hotel dating function where the women are seated at tables and the guys go around handing them a booklet introducing themselves and the women will respond if they’re interested. Being the introvert that I am, I just hid in the other room and didn’t participate even though I’m holding a booklet of myself. It would appear I was being shy but I had the same sentiment in the dream as I do in real life: Interacting with people is such a hassle, especially in dating/relationship. I say this as a virgin, basically saying that sex isn’t worth the trouble.

Some time passed and all the attractive women have left already, presumably with some guy. In this dream, the women’s role is to be bitchy and selective about their options which I think kind of says something about how I view women and dating. There were only a handful of women left and they were all fat and ugly. Guess what? There’s no such thing as “big beautiful women.” It’s an oxymoron. Just kidding, I just wanted to be offensive since I’ve already defined myself as an offensive writer. I know that ugly and fat aren’t synonymous but then again, let’s be real: there is a big overlap.

The remaining women each had huge piles of booklets of presumably even less attractive men. The women frustratingly scan through the booklets but can’t bring themselves to accept any of them. Now, I won’t go as far as to brag about being attractive since statistically, being a virgin doesn’t help prove my point. But I’m above average or at least average. In the context of the dream, I was by far the most attractive person remaining from both genders. I wasn’t interested in that whole dating function though especially when all the attractive girls are taken. I was kind of trying to wait it out in the other room but then I wondered wtf I was wasting my time there for and decided that I should leave. However, that required me to walk across the room with the remaining women and I retardedly didn’t think about that and waltzed into the room. (I wonder if the euphemism “remaining women” is any less offensive or not lol.)

As soon as I walked into the room, one particular fatty spotted me and confidently walked up to me and said “Let’s go.” This woman is someone I know and have been friendly with so we weren’t total strangers. The “Let’s go” implied that we were getting a room and having sex. She’s easily the most attractive amongst the remaining women but she’s still a remaining woman. I had previously thought of her as mildly attractive but as soon as sex was consolidated, I was loomed with fear. I was frantically trying to think of a legit and inoffensive excuse not to follow through but I couldn’t come up with anything. Being the socially awkward person that I am, in response to “Let’s go”, I paused and stared into space for a moment and almost said “I can’t think of an excuse not to…” Ironically, I was smart enough in the dream not to say that but in real life, I probably would’ve said it. I also felt pressure for having to socialize because I’m normally just a boring mute but when someone’s hanging out with me specifically, I feel the need to entertain even though I don’t want to. I was going through my recent jokes in my head and the only one that came to mind was the one about fat people dying before they get old. But I wasn’t going to say that to her and I realized that I feel uncomfortable mentioning the word “fat” around fat people.

Anyway, the dream kind of teeters off from there and nothing else really happens. Or maybe I’m just trying to hide the fact that I had sex with a fatty in a dream. You can decide. Although I would be doing a terrible job of hiding it if that was the truth. I don’t think this story turned out as interesting as it was in my head but it’s written so I’ll just post it. I also just remember having a full on nightmare right before this “sex” dream. I won’t describe that dream but basically it’s about a sociopathic murderer breaking into my house and I’m trying to defend the house. What the fuck is wrong with my brain…

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