Bored With Words

I got bored and decided to play a word game with myself. The goal is to use homophones and homonyms and whatever homo shit to form the most retarded phrases I can imagine while maintaining grammatical correctness.

Q: Cue the queue.

A: Okay, the cameras are rolling so you should tell the background actors to get in line.

Q: Unflatten my flat flat.

A: You should fix your home to make it livelier. Give it more depth, more dimension.

Q: Plant the plain plane on the plain.

A: You can’t find any airports or roads so you have to land your ordinary air-bus on a grassy field.

Q: Gay gay

A: What do you call a happy person who has a life partner.

Q: Chipped Chip chip

A: A damaged gambling currency made from potatoes.

Q: Crispy crisp

A: What do you call crunchy potatoe chips.

Q: Faggot faggot

A: Cigarettes made for homosexuals.

Q: Fake it, faggot.

A: Telling a gay person to pretend to be straight.

Q: There there, they’re there.

A: What do you say to comfort someone who is worried about people not arriving at the designated area.

Q: Man, man the manhole. Amen.

A: You give a tired prayer in hopes that they fix the sewer.

Q: Ho ho ho. Hoe’s hoes and hose.

A: The name of a shop that sells gardening and farming tools and the owner happens to be a prostitute. And say it in Santa Claus’ voice.

Q: Three free Friezas.

A: A chinese person advertising giveaways of a dragonball character.

Q: The pit’s a pizza.

A: You explain that you marked on the map the location of the hole with an Italian pie.

Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A: I ran out of orginal ideas and decided to become a fuckin’ copycat.

I call this game Homophrase. See if you can come up with more.

12 thoughts on “Bored With Words

  1. I don’t want to say anything dopey. I’m glad to be in here before You get overrun with readers and subscribers. because you will. this is a great read. thanks for finding me so I could find you!

    • Haha, dope away! One can never get too many positive responses on the internet. I hope I get popular too but realistically, it probably won’t happen. I’m not good at publicizing. As long as I maintain one or two active readers who shower me with compliments, I’ll keep on writing what I write, which is self-deprecating and plain-deprecating things.

      • Your writing is engaging and direct. That is what great writers and communicators do.
        A fellow blogger revealed to me the secret for getting more subscribers and readers. I now pass it on to you: it is all in the way you tag your posts. Just go to the WordPress ” What would you like to read” And select your audience! Just insert those topic categories in your tags. Also check out other writers in your genre and use the same tags they do. Throw in a couple pictures for the visual set ( there are lots of royalty free & public domain photos available)… I think you will be amazed at the results! 🙂
        You are worth reading! I would hate to see you go unnoticed!

        • Thanks for the tips; I’ll give them a try. It’s hard for me to identify my audience though. I’d like to think that everyone can enjoy my blog as long as they’re not pussies who are afraid of words.

          There are two types of word-fearing people: those who can’t stand reading, and those who get offended by words. I guess people cruising around wordpress wouldn’t fall under the former category though.

          • You are right about bloggers, spewing and devouring words is the name of the game! 🙂 Language is a powerful and wonderful thing… All of it.
            I don’t know much. Well, one thing I do know, Be yourself and you will connect.

  2. You do have a very interesting mind. I love your sense of humor and your ability to put some very strange topics into a blog… and make them work! Thank you for following my VegasWizard Blog. I am following you, and I can already see this will be interesting!

  3. Yeah he got banned from the band.
    He got the ax? It’s the way he acts.
    Are you seriously going to mince around offering mints?
    She wants the bridal suite? I got a bridle she’ll really like.
    Nay, she said..but all I heard was neighhhhh.
    She’s not allowed to speak aloud.
    You did the whole vial, it was packed! You’re vile—what about our pact?
    I said the facts, you idiot, not the fax!
    I liken his personality to a large chunk of lichen.
    Every morning when I look at him I resume mourning.

    • Ben and Anna wear bandanna while eating bananas during the marching band and anti-normal rally.

      I asked you to act apt with your ass ax.

      Okay, it’s going to be hard to extend each of yours. I quit after two, lol.

If you liked what you read, please comment. As a blogger with few followers, I need the affirmation lol.

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