Before I get to the asshole hair story, I’d like to update you on my chocolate milk diarrhea situation. As I predicted, there was more to come and it was knocking very impatiently on my asshole door as I was posting part VI. Fortunately, everything worked out and I don’t have a new disgusting shit story to write about. (Hmm… maybe it was a misfortune that I didn’t shit my pants.) In an earlier Shit Story, I had written about how some of my shits are very urgent and I barely make my way from my room to the washroom. I spend most of my life being unemployed and I had wondered if my impatient diarrhea would render me unfit to work. Since I’ve had so much time to think about shit on the shitter in the past hour, I now realize that I don’t have bowel problems at work because I don’t retardedly drink entire cartons of chocolate milk while I’m working.
The diarrhea that came out of me just now was very watery. I remember the first time I had watery diarrhea. As a young boy, I knew that girls don’t have dicks but I didn’t know what a vagina was yet so I just assumed girls pee from their assholes. Since the watery diarrhea feels a lot like peeing, I thought I had become a girl. I actually checked to see if my dick was still there. Once I felt my own dick, I was relieved that I hadn’t turned girl. That’s what childhood was for me apparently.