Shit Stories Part XI: Anal Pleasures

Congratulations. My asshole hair got 10 likes so I will now be adding pictures of pretty girls to all my shit stories. I have also gone back and retroactively added them to all previous shit stories. I spent a lot of time on these so you should revisit them and appreciate all my hard work. Let me help you. https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/category/shit-stories/ And don’t forget the older ones too. https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/category/shit-stories/page/2/

Like a good book, I can read these shit stories again and again.

Like a good book, I can read these shit stories again and again.


Okay, anal pleasures. The more homophobic readers might think this is gay; but it’s not. There are sensitive nerve endings in our assholes that give us pleasure when stimulated. That is a fact. That is why taking a good healthy shit feels wonderful. It’s the way our bodies have evolved to encourage us to get rid of waste instead of keeping it in the body. The thicker and longer the shit, the better it feels. Read: Phallic objects feel good in our asses. That said, it’s only gay when you put an actual dick in there.

Wink.

Wink.

I haven’t fingered my ass yet so this isn’t a post-justification; it’s a pre-justification. I’m still waiting to get 100 likes here. Once I get 100 likes, I will do it as promised. I need these arbitrary rules in my life. Even though I still can’t blame anyone but myself if things go wrong, at least I know there will be people who gets a laugh out of it. With all my recent anal talk and my discussion with MrJohnson about fleshlights in the comment section here, I’m turning into quite a sex-freak and shit-monger. Living with my parents, I don’t have many places I can hide a fleshlight but I just thought of a brilliant place for it. Now I just need someone to send me a fleshlight so I can make some delightful pictures for the internet to see. Sponsors are welcomed. Come on, sex toy shops, are you reading this?

C'mon sponsors. Please?

C’mon sponsors. Please?

As a tech savvy person, I always joked that it would be funny if I ran a porn site because of what I have to say at family gatherings when people ask me what I do. Now it will be even funnier if I get sponsored to play with and blog about sex toys.

Your family will forever avoid eye contact like I'm doing right now.

Your family will forever avoid eye contact like I’m doing right now.

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6 thoughts on “Shit Stories Part XI: Anal Pleasures

  1. There’s simply not enough information on arse hairs, it’s almost like there’s an illuminati plot to shave off everyone’s arse hairs and then sweep them under the carpet as if they don’t exist. This blog’s like the French resistance in world war 2 bravely harbouring jews from the nazis, only it’s about arse hairs. Well they won’t get my arse hairs, I’ve super glued them on. Fuck these fascist weirdos.

    • You can click on the bloggers who like my pages to check them out. A lot of them are actually really good looking. This knowledge doesn’t change anything though. It’s not like any of them are offering themselves to me for making them laugh. Ahem, you hear that girls? I’m accepting offers.

      I’ll write an entry asking for volunteers but I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t get any responses.

  2. And ya the big hard logs feel the best. It’s like a pipe cleaner. Kind of scarey sometimes how big of a log can come out of your ass. They can be the size of a large black erection which would mean one could easily fit inside of me.

  3. Pingback: Some Messages To My Readers | Sad. Funny. Truthful.

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