Some Messages To My Readers

If this is the first entry you’re reading from my blog, go away. Go read a shit story and then come back.

Comments: Even though I don’t always reply to every comment, I have read and will continue to read each and every one of them. I really enjoy reading them. The reason I might not respond is because I don’t have anything funny to say and I can’t just say a straight thank you. I’m weird like that. That said, a lot of the comments and my responses can be as funny as the main entry so you should check those out too, like the conversation about fleshlights here.

More comments please: I’m an attention whoring little bitch and I want more feedback! This will keep my mind active and in return, I’ll be able to write more funny things for you to read. You won’t believe how much I’m just wasting away my life at the moment. I spent most of today lying in bed and checking my email for new comments. Normally, I would just go masturbate and then feel sad 20 seconds later, but my brother’s home a lot these days so I’ve lost a lot of my masturbatory freedom.

Female readers, want to volunteer a picture of yourself? I’ve started adding pictures of pretty girls to all my shit stories and if you so desire, those could be pictures of you! Along with the picture, you will get a funny caption and a link to your site so you get some free advertising. The captions will not make a joke at your expense. It will be something along the lines of the ones you see here. This and this are examples of ways I will not be using your pictures. If you’re not happy with what I did, you can always ask me to modify or remove it. I’m very reasonable. Don’t be shy. I’ll be gentle.

More Pretty Girls? Have you guys been enjoying the pictures and the accompanying captions? If this entry gets 25 likes, I will add pictures to every entry I write, not just the shit stories.

Don't you want to see me everywhere and not confined to just shit stories?

Don’t you want to see me everywhere and not confined to just shit stories?

Oh, and I just noticed that I missed part ix when I was adding pictures earlier today so I’ve gone back and added them. Go check out what I have to say about myself in the voice of these girls.

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4 thoughts on “Some Messages To My Readers

    • T minus 2 seconds is how long that might take.

      If nothing else, I find it funnier to mis-estimate on the un-pleasing side. It’s one of my pet peeves when someone says things like “I start having sex so late. I was 18 when I had my first sexual encounter.” As much as I love Louis CK, he’s guilty of this and it’s one of the few things I don’t like about him. I don’t even mind when he makes fun of Chinese babies.

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