Shit Stories Part XII

There are some words that just sound funny together, like anal leakage. Unfortunately, I don’t actually have a story about that. The closest thing I can think of is still just hypothetical. In Shit Stories Part V, I mentioned that I had wiped some blood from my asshole. I haven’t wiped any more blood since, but if I did, then I would’ve needed to consider using tampons.

I'm high as a kite and have no idea wtf I just read.

I’m high as a kite and have no idea wtf I just read.

The only productive thing I’ve been doing all week is writing these shit stories and this isn’t even productive at all. It’s sad that I actually fantasized about getting laid from these shit stories. There’s 0% chance of that happening and it’s still the closest I’ve ever been to getting laid.

Ted knows as little about sex as we do about basketball.

Ted knows as little about sex as we do about basketball.

There wasn’t really much of a shit story this time. I just wanted to use some more of these pictures since I spent so much time downloading them. Anyway, it’s past midnight and my whole family’s asleep so I shall proceed to use this freedom to entertain myself, feel shitty for several minutes, then entertain myself again.

That's how Ted's going to look when he's waiting his several minutes.

That’s how Ted’s going to look when he’s waiting his several minutes.

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