8 Things I’ve Tried That Did NOT Make My Blog Popular

I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. Actually, I know that I’m doing with it; I’m doing absolutely nothing with it and have no intentions of doing anything with it either. I don’t want to spiral into another depressing rant so I’ll just cut to the part where I find that I’ve got a keen sense of comedy and maybe I should try to do something with it. I figured I’ll start a blog to pour my comedy into and see if it gets me anywhere. 120 blog entries later, my blog is still hardly recognized. I have tried a number of things to get people to see it but they turned out to be exercises in futility. Here is a list of 8 of these things:

1. Create Lots of Quality Content

I’ve written freakin’ over 10 entries. They’re not all award winning masterpieces but a couple of them have literally won awards from wordpress (These aren’t esteemed awards or anything, but at least it shows that some people really liked them. Trust me, I honestly don’t think very highly of these.) The handful of people who see my work really love it but the problem is that not enough people gets to see it. There are simply too many bloggers out there and my blog falls instantly into obscurity the moment I publish it. Okay, so let me try to get more people to see it.

2. Adding Tags For Search Engine Optimization

I need to make it possible for people to find my blog so I add plenty of relevant tags. I have used 570 tags and the site keeps good track of how people enter the site so I know exactly how few people are able to find the site on their own. I even created a word cloud game with all these tags that I’ve used. I can also see the search engine terms and although they’re hilarious to look at, the person probably didn’t find what they were looking for in my blog. “girl shit diarrhea after”: I’ve written about girls and I’ve written about diarrhea, but not together. “photo penis gay masturbation erection”: I’ve written about each of those words individually but I’ve never written about gay masturbation and I surely don’t have any photos of that.

3. Following Other People’s Blogs

When you follow another person’s blog, wordpress sends them an email and tells them to check out my blog in return. I shamefully admit that I’ve gone around blindly following others without reading their blog in order to make my blog more visible. That is how I got a couple hundred followers but now I suspect that the majority of them didn’t actually read my blog either. I’ve gotten some of my biggest followers this way but this method is too slow to be practical. It’ll never lead to virality and would take years to reach any substantial number.

4. Using My Social Networks

The biggest flaw with this is that it requires me to have a social network to begin with, which I don’t. If I had one, it would solve a lot of my problems but how is a person supposed to get one to begin with? A social network is one of those things that some people just have and if you don’t have one, there’s not much you can do to get a good one. I have 0 followers on twitter because I don’t have an account and 99% of my facebook friends completely ignore me. I only have 90 facebook friends so mathematically, I’m saying that only 1 person responds to me and he doesn’t even respond every time. Reddit isn’t any help either if I can’t get a few friends to bump it up when I create the post.

5. Write Edgy or Controversial Content

I don’t have a lot of boundaries so a lot of the stuff I write is edgy to begin with. That didn’t seem to suffice so I wrote some controversial and provocative things. All that accomplished was offending one gay guy. I found an hugely popular article about a Pixar Theory which tries to explain how all the Pixar movies are all intertwined. I wrote a response entry that attacks it a little and linked it in the comment section to try to feed off some of those readers. I actually got a couple hundred views from this stunt but all it accomplished was get me 3 haters.

6. Write Clean Content

I’m capable of writing clean content so I decided to write a few clean ones just to see if more people would like that. I thought that I was still able to write some pretty funny clean jokes but my hardcore followers just told me I should go back to writing dirty shit jokes.

7. Add Pictures to Engage Readers

I’ve been adding images for my last 40 entries. It all started during one of my many shit stories that people seems to love reading about. One of the shit stories got a follower who was this sexy young girl and I suspected that she didn’t actually read it and I called her out on it. Turned out that I made an ass and a dick out of myself but it created this funny idea of putting pictures of pretty girls in my shit stories to create a bittersweet juxtaposition. I started adding funny caption, akin to cracked style, and I wound up adding pictures and captions for all my entries, not just the ones about shit. People love it but they were the same people who already love my blog. The pictures didn’t get me any new readers.

8. Write About Popular Things

Instead of just writing my shit stories, I’ve also tried writing about movies, video games, and tv shows that I like but it didn’t help make my blog more visible. Too many people already write about these things and at the end of the day, it’s just really hard to find new blogs when there are so many out there. Even if the blog has great original content, and I’m going to assume that I do, it’s still really hard to overcome the odds and succeed. I hope you’ve learned from my experience and know that trying these things alone is not enough to get a popular blog. You’ll need to do more than this or just do a better job at these than I did, for example, by having more friends than I do.

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26 thoughts on “8 Things I’ve Tried That Did NOT Make My Blog Popular

  1. Getting followers is painful. I went six months without even knowing that I should tag my posts or follow other people. You pretty much have to kiss everyone’s but in order to get them to follow you on a regular basis.

  2. 😀 I’ve tried all of these as well. From what I gather the key to success is to have niche and to be likable within that niche. I don’t have a niche because my attention span will not allow for me to talk about the same sh*t everyday. I’m also not as good at the engagement portion of social networking. So while I have a following on Twitter they don’t engage with me so my social network is often mute. I’m still trying to find the right formula for myself. I hope you are able to find something that works for you.

    My fiance always asks me what I want to achieve from my blog. So far I’ve met some of my goals. Knowing what my goals are makes me it easier to find ways to achieve them.

    Not long ago I decided I wanted people who like me to follow my blog. So I quit trying some of my methods that were counterproductive to that idea. Such as I no longer whore myself out of Twitter and I let my new followers come to me. Seems to work better this way.

    • I don’t remember if you’ve commented before but you haven’t commented in a long time while liking practically everything I post. It’s nice to see you comment and put a voice to the name. I wish to just let people come to me too but far too few people come, due to lack of visibility.

      I’ve basically given up trying to blog for the sake of getting readers. Lately, I’m just pretty much writing the things that’s practically fully written in my head, every few days when they come. I’ve also gotten too lazy to add the pictures and captions. For now, it seems like there’s always a handful of people who’ll read everything I write which is good. The amount I’ll be blogging will be directly correlated to how much I feel like people are reading, which is pretty much to say how much people comment. A few comment-less entries in a row will probably lead me into another dry non-blogging spell.

      • I don’t believe I’ve commented on your blog before. I do read it but to be honest I was confused by your choices of images. For me it was off putting and made it hard to comment. But that’s just me. To each their own, this isn’t meant at a criticism but since you brought it up I figured I would mention it.

        I’m also guilty of not commenting often enough. I spend a few hours a day (weekdays) reading through my reader but I don’t always have something to say in return.

        • I’m glad you shared your thought on the pictures. It’s hard to know what people think when they don’t say anything, lol. The exclusive use of girls in the pictures came from one of my shit stories. I had been writing shit stories all night, part after part, and then I got an email notification of this pretty girl who liked it. Based on her clean blog and her clean face, I suspected that she didn’t actually read the shit stories I wrote. I falsely concluded that she didn’t actually read my shit stories and decided to publicly shame her for it. It was a false conclusion and I just ended up making an ass out of myself but that’s when the idea came up to pair pictures of girls with my crude content. Long story short, it’s basically just a running joke that I made run for too long. It sucks to know/think that putting in extra effort actually ends up detrimental to the final product. You’ll probably be enjoying more of what little I’ll be blogging now because I’ve gotten too lazy to include those pictures.

          • 😀 I do put a picture on every one of my blogs. I try to take my own pictures as often as possible but when I can’t I use http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/agree-terms.php?id=10022566 to find something relevant.

            The reason I always use a picture is because I automatically Tweet and post my blog to Facebook. It looks better on FB with a picture. That being said I rarely get views off of FB or Twitter. I almost think WordPress doesn’t count all the clicks from Twitter because other sites I use get more clicks from Twitter. It’s really weird.

            Any ways, good luck to you. The quality of my blogs vary on my free time and level of creativity. I wish I blogged for a living but unfortunately my real job requires my primary attention! 😀

            • I don’t know about twitter but I know it counts facebook for me. I don’t know too much about twitter but maybe it doesn’t blend well with long form things like blogs.

              It’s sad, but I don’t even know if I would want to blog for a living which kinda makes it pointless for me to do whatever it is I’m doing. Sorry, I’m extra depressing and pessimistic in the face of optimistic words.

    • lol that sounds like a good idea. If I had ANY motivation to do ANYTHING, that sounds like something worth doing. But alas, I’m just going to keep on doing nothing, like I always have.

  3. The hardest part, I think, is the high attrition among bloggers because they don’t get the traffic they had expected. When your followers stop blogging, they often stop visiting your blog. The folks with over 1000 followers may only have a few active ones, even if a lot of their followers were authentically interested in the blog.

    And you never get to see if your departing followers subscribe to your RSS feed on their way out.

    • Makes sense. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of a future obstacle that I’ll never have to face because I won’t ever get the high number of followers to begin with. If anything, I’m coming out of this with a better understanding of typical numbers bloggers see. Most optimistic people might say that knowledge is always a good thing but I disagree. I know too many useless things to know that random knowledge is almost always useless.

  4. you can fix the theme.

    Go for one that has minimized posts so people have to click to read it and use google to find what the load time is for your site. Those things matter a lot.

    • I want people to be able to read as much as they want, as easily as possible, even at the cost of tracking what they’re reading. My main problem is that I don’t have enough readers to track to begin with. What’s this load time thing with google?

      • Problem with your blog is I have to scroll down so much through one post to get to another. Pick a theme that minimizes your posts so if users are interested the have to actually click on it to read it. I would say work with something like Ideation and Indent type of theme.

        here is the load time thing

        http://tools.pingdom.com/fpt/

          • your theme is set up so all of your posts show when I scroll down your home page. Like your 8 things posts, it is all visible the second someone is at your home page. Pick a theme like Ideation and Indent or like mines where only the title and first few words of the post are visible. The rest people have to click and see for themselves.

    • It depends how much you expect to get out of it. If you hope to get something viral, there’s too much luck involved but at the same time, you also need to do something to give it a chance of happening. It’s like buying lotteries. For most people, they can buy lotteries their entire lives and never win but if they don’t buy it at all, there would be literally no chance of winning. In the case of the lottery, it’ll drastically change your life but getting one hugely viral blog post will just give you thousands of emails to go through and feeling empty and lonely when the emails stop.

  5. The first few times I started a blog, they ended up being sappy stories and thoughts about my life. They basically became journals. I grew tired of writing about myself and would quickly abandon the blogs. Instead I’ve turned to a different aspect of my personality that I highly value – humor. As far as attaining followers, it’s been tough. I mostly believe it’s because, just as in my everyday life, my sense of humor has confused many people. Also, I don’t advertise the blog on my facebook because of anonymity purposes. I JUST connected to Twitter. Still figuring that one out. But hey, my current blog brings me much joy and I look forward to constructing each piece. I have ideas all of the time, but some require more back story, and …well…just more effort on my part. Anyway, I’m going to keep with it! You seem to be an honest blogger and stay true to your character. I respect that. Thanks for following me a couple months ago!

  6. I’ve tried mostly everything on that list too, until I decided, fuck it, I’ll just write and not give a fuck about who’s reading it. But then, it makes me so happy when someone decides to comment or like my post. It’s a fine line, though, between wanting your blog to be just a bit more famous, and spending every hour of your life (note: slight exaggeration) trying to get followers.
    I’m a fan of yours, nonetheless.

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