Quick Burst of Thoughts

I just realized that when I talk to adults, I refer to my mom as “mommy” which sounds pansy but it’s better than the alternative of calling her a cunt.

 

I hate clubbing but the one part I do enjoy about it is that I can fart freely on the dance floor and no one will know.

 

When adults talk to me, it’s annoying when they say something to me with the presumption that I enjoy playing video games. I don’t. I don’t enjoy anything in life anymore. The only reason I still play games is to numb my mind. Even then, I can barely keep it up. So when they start a conversation saying that I like to play games, I know that I can stop listening right there and start spacing out.

 

Lately, I feel like my weird body hairs are getting longer: armpit hair, nose hair, ear hair, asshole hair, nipple hair, etc…

 

I asked a dude if he would fuck a female bum and was surprised that there was a misunderstanding. That’s when I know I’ve been using the word “bum” for “homeless” too much.

 

I know I’m not gay, but I think I would be willing to give a guy a hand job for as little as $5. There will need to be a couple realistic conditions for me to offer this amazing deal. I wouldn’t have to pretend to enjoy it and I would need to have access to soap and water immediately afterwards. Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. I don’t enjoy touching a dick by any means but c’mon guys, it’s just a dick. That’s much better than touching a shitty asshole. Wait a minute… Does this mean I would rather touch a guy’s dick than a girl’s asshole? Umm… I don’t think I want to think about this anymore…

 

Next topic.

 

It is said that the average man uses 7,000 words a day and the average woman uses 20,000 words a day. Who says that? I just quoted the first site that came up on google. Whatever the amount is, I literally use 0 words on an average day. People should be surprised I’m even capable of speaking.

These are the kinds of random little things I plan to talk about in my podcast that I’m still planning to do. Hopefully this little tease will help get me a couple listeners when I finally make it.

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11 thoughts on “Quick Burst of Thoughts

  1. Hahaha, you sick bastard, you like farting at clubs. People would probably mistaken it for cologne and sweat anyway.

    It’s true it’s just a dick. It has skin on it so it’s better than a fleshy anus or vagina where waste comes out of it and gets spread throughout. I’ve always found it kind of odd how it’s considered disgusting to not wash your hands after taking a piss but it’s acceptable to not wash your hands after touching the ground, dirty car, chairs that people fart on, etc. What’s dirtier?

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