Self Realization From Nonsensical Dream

Describing dreams to other people is a delicate art. Dreams often skip around, bend reality, and not make sense so it requires decent storytelling skills to fill in the gaps and not make it sound retarded. Unfortunately, I’m not a good storyteller so this is going to be a shitty dream story.

 

You should skip this paragraph because I’m going to describe some crazy nonsense. I’m 23 and no longer attend school but in the dream, I invited a friend and a black couple to come to my house for lunch. When it was time to head back to school, we left the house to get into the car. The black couple got into one car, and for some reason, my friend and I got into an SUV with 2 black gangsters in the front seat whom we don’t know. Apparently, they’re acquaintances of the black girl in the couple. I turned on my charm, became personable and chatted up the gangsters. Turns out, the culture of these specific black people is that girls are encouraged to engage with multiple partners and these gangsters were like her spare tires even though she was with a boyfriend at the moment. I told you this paragraph isn’t going to make sense.

 

So anyway, I get in the car with 2 black gangsters and they were supposed to drive me back to school. Part way through, I noticed they didn’t take the right path. I politely informed them that I was cool with the fact that they were taking a detour. We wound up in some crazy sketchy area where they were meeting someone and making some kind of deal. Some new gangsters approached the car, these new gangsters were mexican/latino. Not sure what the difference is but at least my dream brain isn’t being super racist against black people and crime. It seems to be completely influenced by movies and media. These guys came up to the car, opened the door, and started shooting their guns at us. They killed the black gangsters in the front seats and shot multiple rounds at me too. I only got shot in the hand and it hurt a lot even though the wound was like a splinter. The whole time while they were firing at me, I kept crying for mercy and saying I have no weapons. As much as I talk about being depressed and wanting to die, when shit goes down (in a dream), I clung to life like a pussy. I’ve predicted this as one of my possible reactions to life/death situations but I was very disappointed to catch myself reacting this way, even if it was just a dream.

 

I explained to the new gangsters that we didn’t know those black gangsters and that we’re not associated with them. They spared us and took our food. The dream skips around a bit here and I end up inside these gangsters’ base, which is like a warehouse. A lot of the gang members were there, around 40 of them. There were some hot chicks in the mix too. I walked up to the group and spoke to the leader. I made a grandiose speech, just like you would see in the movies. I announced that I want to join them. I see money, power, women, what more can a man ask for? The leader decides to test me. He points to the back of the crowd at this hot chick and tells me I need to shoot her in the head. The girl seems to be part of the gang and didn’t react at all; she kept looking down and using her phone. Her lack of reaction wasn’t because she didn’t hear her death sentence, but it was because she didn’t care for some reason.

 

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t shoot this random hot chick in the head. I’m not sure that I was ready to kill yet. I tried  to analyze the test to see what I was really being tested on. Was it a test to see if I can mercilessly kill a human? Was it a test of loyalty that I wouldn’t kill an a fellow member under pressure? Was it a test of gun proficiency because he told me I only get 3 shots? I tried to think outside the box to see if I could get around the test. I considered telling them I’m more of a behind the scenes mastermind kind of guy who can make plans and strategies. But then I was afraid that they’d interpret it as calling them stupid. Maybe the gun they provided me shoots blanks. Why else would they trust me to put a gun towards the back of the crowd and not shoot anyone else. I thought that might be onto something so I said something out loud to buy some time because I’ve been thinking for a long time. I told them that they wouldn’t want me firing at their direction so I’m going to walk up to the girl for point blank range. I waited to see if they would respond, to see if it would clarify whether the test was about firing accuracy. Nobody said anything so I proceeded walking towards the girl.

 

I was in a tough situation. I didn’t know what was being tested and I didn’t think they’d just let me quit the test and walk away either. I didn’t want to have to kill anyone, but it was even harder because she was a hot chick, With all my perversions in mind, it felt like a waste of a body. Would it have been easier if I had to kill a guy? I kept thinking that I’d much rather fuck her than kill her. Not rape though, I don’t condone rape. Would she rather die than get touched my me? I’m not into necrophilia so I wasn’t going to kill her and then fuck the body. I might still go for a boob squeeze though. Then I thought about how to tell her I’m killing her whilst touching her warm alive boobs. The dream pretty much ended there because it got too ridiculous. If I had a cooler brain, it could’ve turned into a sex dream but I can’t even get laid in dreams.

 

What I learned from this crazy dream is that I turn to a mega wuss with death encroaches and that my mind is forever perverted even in super tense situations.

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