Drinking Hot Sauce

I’m basically just trying to pass time these days. I’m supposed to have some interviews next week and I’m just going to ride that out. If I were a harder working person, I’d be trying to do something productive in the meantime but I’m just going to keep waiting because I don’t feel like working very hard at the moment.

 

Last night, I went out with Justin and a bunch of his friends. Not sure if anyone remembers Justin, I’ve mentioned him in previous blog entries and podcasts and stuff. Not really important who he is though, you only need to know that he’s a good friend. I’m not sure if I simply never noticed it in my first couple years being his friend, but the past couple years he’s been horrible at making plans and cancels them a lot. It’s at a point right now that if I have plans with Justin, I cannot tell my parents about it until the moment I leave the house. That’s also because I have shitty parents. If I end up not going out after telling them about it, my mom would keep asking stupid questions over and over again, and asking it as if I was the rude person cancelling the plans. My dad, on the other hand, would just laugh at my face for being cancelled on.

 

The plan is to go to a casino but we went to Jack Astor’s before that. When we were half way through eating, one of the friends randomly offered to pay a dollar to Justin if he drank the hot dipping sauce. It was just a random dare, no one was particular into it, hence the small wager. As a cheap person willing to be reckless with my life, the offer piqued my interest and I told them I’d do it for $3. We asked around the table to see who else wants to pitch in a dollar. I knew the whole thing wasn’t particularly interesting so I didn’t force anyone who wasn’t interested. We got it up to $5 so I did it. I drank it like a shot and it actually actually pretty easy. I feel bad for them because I wasn’t more of an entertainment. It didn’t taste good and most people would probably make a disgusted face as they swallow it and that’s what the money’s for but I didn’t make any faces. I almost felt like I ripped them off but I didn’t feel bad about it since it wasn’t even enough money to pay my share of the bill.

 

That’s pretty much it. I guess now I know I can drink hot sauce for practically no money. We went to a casino after and everyone lost money. Justin and some of the others have had really good winnings at the casino before but not last night. I didn’t play because I get turned off by the house edge, understanding probability and that the casino will always win in the end. I don’t gamble, but apparently I have no problem gambling my health with the hot sauce. It’s pretty mild but I can still feel it a little in my chest and ass right now.

Movie Day

I kinda quit my sales job today. I tend to quit jobs pretty quickly but this one wasn’t my fault. For once, I actually have pretty good reason to leave because I have all that CNC stuff I should be focusing on now. At first I was going to keep doing the sales job until the CNC training starts but I decided to leave earlier. I knew that I wasn’t making money for them because of my low sales rate and I knew that I don’t intend to lie the way they want me to in order to close sales. I talked with the managers about that and I told them that since this is the case, we should discuss termination. I could’ve held off discussing that stuff for a few days but I didn’t want to work for them anymore anyway. The meeting went well and things ended on good terms. So yeah, that’s the end of that for now I guess.

 

The work agency is setting me up with interviews for the CNC thing this week and since I’m not working now, my week is going to be pretty free. It’s too bad there isn’t anything I want to do so I’m just trying to pass the time. I exercised a whole lot but that still only took up maybe 4 hours. Maybe I should attempt full day workout regimens for the rest of the week. For today, I decided to watch some movies so I can delete them from my computer. I’ve been having a hard time enjoying movies lately – I get bored and want to sleep. I wouldn’t mind sleeping all day but I also have a hard time sleeping once I’m in bed. It’s stupid things like these that make life so frustrating and unenjoyable for me. Today, I fought the boredom and stuck with the movies and it turned out to be quite enjoyable.

 

First, I watched I, Robot. It’s an older movie but I’ve never watched it until today. I don’t know if it was because of the beers I had before watching the movie or just my overall dissatisfaction with my life, but I got really emotional and cried several times during the movie. I am not proud of that. I wouldn’t say I’m ashamed of crying, but it’s definitely not a proud thing. I really enjoyed the movie though.

 

Next, I watched Gravity. I don’t know how I feel about this one. I really wanted to stop watching it several times during the movie but I finished it. I usually never get dizzy from games or movies but the scene near the beginning where Sandra Bullock is spinning got my dizzy. It’s definitely well made and I was able to get into it some of the time but it’s definitely not one of my favorites. One thing I want to bring up is when Sandra Bullock gets into the Chinese space station or whatever the thing is called, I thought it was slightly racist that there was a ping pong racket floating around in there. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure they don’t play ping pong in space. This detail wouldn’t be racist if Chinese astronauts actually bring ping pong rackets up there – then it would just be fact. Even if it was just a little racist joke, it’s barely racist and I’m barely offended but I just felt like bringing it up.

 

Finally, I wrapped up the night with Need For Speed. I wasn’t expecting it to be an excellent movie, but I thought it’d be something I’d like. It started off really lame which surprised and disappointed me. But then it got really good, surprisingly good. So I got surprised twice. I don’t really have much else to say about this movie. Well, there was this one thought I had throughout the movie: I thought the main character looked a lot like Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad. I feel kind of racist for thinking those white guys look alike. … Oh shit. I just googled it to fact-check and it turns out that the main character really was Aaron Paul. Now I just feel stupid, lol.

Beer Me

I want to get back into the habit of blogging regularly but there’s isn’t always something interesting to say everyday. Yesterday I drank too much vodka and got a little sick. I felt nausea but didn’t throw up. I usually drink straight vodka just to get drunk quicker but it was really hard to do it yesterday. I theorize that maybe because I got purified water in my house now and because I wash my vodka down with water, maybe the purified water is cleansing my pallets too much and making me taste more of the shittiness of vodka. I’m done with vodka for a while. I haven’t had a bad experience with beer yet so now I’m drinking beer (yes, right now as I’m typing this). Sure, it tastes like piss but I’m starting to not mind it so much.

 

Today was a pretty good day. It started off pretty slow and seemed like it might be a bad day. I watched Rules of Engagement all morning. Even though I like the show, I have a hard time enjoying things these days. Then I messaged a friend and got him to run with me. We don’t really run much. We usually just end up walking and chatting but that’s still pretty good. After I walked him home, I went for a run by myself. I had eaten a lot over the weekend so it was good to burn off some fat. I didn’t eat THAT much, but it was a lot in comparison to what I’ve been eating lately. I actually don’t enjoy eating for the most part but I tend to eat just to not waste food and I eat biggish portions so I don’t have to clean as many plates. Now that I’m trying to lose some weight and look awesome, I’m intentionally eating less which is not difficult for me. But yesterday, we went out for a shitty family birthday dinner for me so I had a little more to eat than I normally do. I also pigged out a little today for some random reason.  I think I was able to balance it out with considerable exercise today.

 

After the run/walk with that one friend, I messaged another friend to hang out. We went to get some beer, had a few, then we went out for dinner and played some ping pong. I met with “Uncle Eddie” who he knows from church. The three of us had dinner and played ping pong. I hadn’t played ping pong for a couple years but I picked it back up pretty quickly. I’m pretty damn good. For a casual player, I’m insanely good. Compared to competitive tournament players, I’d probably fit in one of the lower tiers which is still not bad. I feel somewhat ashamed for being good at ping pong though because I feel like I’m fitting straight into the stereotype of being asian and being good at ping pong and math.

 

I played some pretty intense ping pong with uncle Eddie. He’s an old asian guy who’s played for many years and I’m a bit better than him so it was really fun and a really good workout since I voluntarily picked up the ball the majority of the time. Now I’m drinking beer and blogging. Getting beer was actually the primary reason I went out with the second friend today and played ping pong. I had a tiny buzz when I met Eddie and I was more chatty and friendly with him than my usual self. I know that I’m sort of at risk of developing mild alcoholism and that it’s bad, but it seems to be doing good in my life so far. At this stage, I know I can easily quit so if someone wants me to stop (I think you know who you are), I can stop and quit drinking right away. Otherwise, I think I’m going to drink (responsibly) for a while until some bad happens.

Sales: The Way My Morals Can Bend

I’ve done a number of sales jobs now and they’re simply not right for me. I’m a good presenter and public speaker. I am able to present and demonstrate products very well. But when it comes down to closing a sale, I don’t like making people take money out of their pockets. Maybe I’m projecting my cheapness onto other people and I’m being cheap for them. I do make sales, but my numbers are low and every time someone buys something from me, they really want it. There has to be a good way to make use of my skills but my current sales job is not the way.

 

I’m currently selling whole home water conditioning systems. The company sends out scratch card flyers and everyone wins a prize. All they have to do is sit through a presentation and they get their prize. It costs the company around $100 every appointment I go to. For that reason, they really need good sales numbers so they don’t lose money.

 

Here’s the thing about sales jobs: I’ve done a number of them and they all have certain similar traits about them. Sales jobs requires no formal education or certificates. They hire lots of people and lots of people quit because it’s a shitty job. Sales probably has the highest turnover rate of any job. Because of the shitty nature of the work, companies have to trick young naive people into the job. They set up an interview process that makes you feel like you had to work for the position and try to make you feel special for getting through to the next stages. They don’t tell you any of the bad things about the job and they constantly exaggerate how much you can potentially be earning. After a week of training and them thoroughly hiding the shitty aspects of the job, by the time you go out and actually see how bad it is, you’ve invested a lot of your time already so you might as well give it a shot and do it for a little bit. Some people become seriously strapped for cash because they haven’t been paid for weeks during the interview and training process so they really need to do well if they don’t want to be homeless.

 

It’s a manipulative game and I don’t like it. Manipulating customers is bad enough, but they manipulate their own sales reps too. It’s like they’re forcing me to lose respect for them. Common things they tell you is that you need to have positive energy, want to have fun, and be coachable. Tack that on top of an exaggerated salary and young potential-less people will fall for it left and right, myself included. Let me do a little translation here:

 

Positive energy means that you need to be able to stand rude ass people slamming doors in your face and smile about it. You cannot let that put you down and you must carry on and be happy no matter how many times that happens.

 

Liking to have fun means that you can pretend like you’re having fun while people are slamming doors in your face.

 

Coachable means that you will do what they tell you to do. They will tell you to lie and they expect you to obey. They will tell you to be persistent and try to guilt people into spending their money, and they expect you to obey.

 

For some reason, I have extreme difficulty manipulating people to spend money. I don’t know if I suck at it or not, but I’m not willing to try. I don’t know why I’m so dead set against it. It’s not like I’m an angel or anything. I’m definitely willing to do bad things for the right price. I would seriously consider assassinating someone for several hundred thousand dollars. I know I would have a hard time living with the guilt, but that’s what the money’s for. I wouldn’t advertise myself as a prostitute, but if someone made the right offer under safe conditions, I’d do it, probably for a lot cheaper than you’d think. My morals are very bendable. But for some reason, I cannot stand telling lies and somewhat tricking people for hundreds of dollars. It’s not even a scam or anything. It’s a legitimate product but they just need me to trick people to buy right away and I can’t bring myself to do it.

My Path To Becoming A CNC Machinist

This blog entry will be all about how I got into CNC Machinist. Am I telling this because I think it’s an interesting story? Not really.

…I just spent the past 10 minutes staring at the computer screen and wondering why the fuck I’m even writing this. I do that a lot. Fuck it. I don’t need a reason to write. I’ll just keep writing and hopefully interesting bits will come out of it.

 

First off, I should know what a CNC machinist is but I don’t. I’m a pretty happy-go-lucky guy who just goes with the flow. Except I’m not a happy person. I guess I’m an unhappy-go-lucky guy? I think CNC stands for computer numeric controlled. I could google it and find out for sure, and I should do that, but I won’t. I don’t know why I’m being a rebel about such nothingness.

 

As far as I know, at this point without doing any research, a CNC machinist’s role is to set up large factory machines in warehouses that build shit. I think there’s a position called CNC programmer and they write the programs for these machines and the machinist just changes a few variables at most. If anyone knows more about this job, please educate me.

 

I came across this job by super random chance. I was originally going into Manpower, a work agency, just to get a manual labor job. There were two written safety tests and I scored perfect on both of them. There weren’t any good jobs but it was a decent meeting overall with one decent-ish job prospect. On my way out of the building, I was riding on the elevator with another dude who also just finished his meeting at Manpower. I was wondering if I should try talking to him just to practice talking to people for my sales job but my introverted nature got the better of me. I just kept to myself but then he started talking to me and I was happy to reciprocate the conversation. He asked how it went for me and I told him it went alright. I asked him how his meeting went and he told me he didn’t do so well on the numeric test. I didn’t have a numeric test so I asked him about it and he told me that it’s for CNC machinist and there’s paid training for it. It sounded really good and I jokingly said that I should go back up and apply for that. Then I got to thinking… why was I joking about that? I should seriously do that. So I thanked him for the info and I went back up.

 

I spoke with a new agent about this new CNC thing I just heard about. I don’t get nervous and I just generally do very well in interviews so I aced that part. Next she gave me a 54 question test with a time limit of fifty minutes, or so I thought I heard. After looking through the first sample page, I told her this seems easy enough for me. She did not believe in my confidence and ensured me that it’s hard and many people don’t have enough time to finish it. I wasn’t extremely cocky about it, but I was probably a little cocky, and I told her that it looks similar to IQ tests and I excel at those. She said it’s not really like an IQ test. I decided to stop fighting her on it. So the test starts and I’m flying through it. I thought I had almost a minute per question and I was finishing each question in under ten seconds.

 

The questions get harder and harder and as I was just finishing up the last question, she told me time was up. I was surprised and that’s when I realized that the time limit was fifteen minutes and not fifty minutes. She had a really thick accent… It didn’t matter though cause I knew I aced it anyway. I don’t think the mark actually matters because it’s a pass/fail thing and I didn’t get to see my mark but I’m sure I did great. I probably scored one of the highest scores she’s ever seen. Most people who go to work agencies aren’t wildly academic because those people are able to find jobs without going through agencies. When she heard that I was a university dropout, she probably didn’t expect me to be intelligent. Few people can fathom that I actually effortlessly get pretty good grades in university and I dropped out simply because I didn’t feel like doing it, not because it was hard at all. I’m not a genius or anything; I’m just definitely well above average. The agent was not an enthusiastic person. I wish she would’ve given me a better reaction to how well I did. When she told me I passed, I asked her if I did pretty good and she answered with a simple “yes”.

 

That’s pretty much the story of how I stumbled into doing CNC. I feel like I should end this entry better but meh. To be continued I guess.

Drunk Once Again

This time I’m drinking completely alone and in the afternoon. Signs of alcoholism? Maybe. The thing is though, I’m not an aggressive drunk. I’m also much more sociable when I’m drunk. I’m normally pretty annoyed and short with my parents but when I’m drunk, I’m a bit more chatty with them. Alcoholism is obviously a bad thing in the long term. But in the short term, it might actually be a good thing for me. We’ll see. Realistically, I’m probably developing a problem right now, lol. Feel free to reach out to me. I could use the extra human contact.