So I went in for an interview today. One of the ladies interviewing me constantly had a huge smile on her face. It reminded me how good it makes other people feel when you smile, especially since the other interviewer wasn’t smiling much. I tend to smile when I’m spoken to as a reaction but I don’t initiate smiles at people. I should learn to do that. It’s a good trait to have.
I think the interview went pretty well. The oddest question I was asked is what I thought of manholes in the streets. The interviewer told me that there’s no specific answer he’s looking for but just wanted to see how I would react to it. First I asked to clarify whether he was talking about manholes or potholes. He told me manholes so I just said they’re to help prevent floods during heavy rain and probably for people to access various areas of the sewers for maintenance. The woman from the work agency that set up the interview for me had asked me to call her after the interview to tell her about it and when I told her that question, she laughed quite a bit.
Other people’s laughs and smiles make me feel good. I should probably expose myself to those situations more. I say that but I’m probably not going to do anything about it for the time being.
I recently realized that being a depressed bum is very unattractive. It’s kind of stupid that it wasn’t obvious to me from the start. Lately, I’ve been feeling extra unfunny, unmotivated, and uninspired and I made sure everyone knew it. It isolated me from everyone. Expressing my depression doesn’t help me and just bums everyone out so I have decided to stop talking about it. If I feel like I need to talk to someone about it, I will, but I will no longer unsolicitedly talk about it.
On the other hand, there is a bright side to being depressed – my version of depression at least. I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about it but this is sort of a positive thing. Because I don’t care about myself much and so desperately want to win someone’s affection – even though I was nice before – I am now a lot more generous with my time, energy, and money. If anyone can benefit from me, it would make me happy to make someone else happy. Now I just need to wait for a special someone to come along and let me give her my all. Or him. If it’s a him, then it’s not a sexual thing or anything. I’m still straight. I know I should be actively pursuing instead of just waiting. The thing is, I really wish my special someone would be someone who is open with me enough to let me know they want me around. That way, I know who I should be giving my 100% to. Basically, I’m just begging for particular someone for ask me for my affection, lol.
I’m also starting to get an inkling of a spark to want to be funny. I may start pursuing stand up comedy, podcasting, or other funny creative outlets once again. Hopefully I do.
Oh, and I have an interview tomorrow for some job, that CNC thing. We’ll see how that goes.