Apathy as a Defence Mechanism

I’m in a good mood today. I don’t think I’ve ever thought that in my entire life. Something good happened and I’ll just leave it at that. Being happy and being apathetic is pretty mutually exclusive so this messes with my apathetic style of living.

I choose not to care too deeply about anything. Being apathetic made me immune to disappointment. Some of it is by choice, but a lot of it is conditioned into me by being constantly let down. There are a lot of things I truly don’t care about and it feels good to be unaffected by them. When I choose not to care about something, I can never reach full apathy, but it still helps a lot in reducing disappointment. When I’m not emotionally invested in something, I have no fears or worries about losing it. Being emotionally un-invested in life made death a lot less scary.

My life generally sucks a lot so my apathetic ways were actually very functional and practical. In a twisted way, it kind of sucks that I experienced some happiness and have something to look forward to because now I have to work so hard live and I’ll probably be spending a lot of time regretting all the time I’ve wasted. I guess I’m a textbook example of a pessimist.


Stupid Superstitions

All superstitions are stupid. Even if it happened to be correct, there is a thing called coincidence. Recently, with all the funeral planning, superstitions come up a lot. Dumb people are annoying. The smarter they think they are, the more annoying they are. Most people are dumb. So generally, the smarter anyone thinks they are, the more annoying they are. I’m probably the most annoying asshole out there in this context.

When someone is being superstitious, that person is clearly being superstitious. But when someone is strongly against superstitions, they are also being superstitious. Just because you don’t agree with certain superstitions doesn’t mean you’re not superstitious. If you really aren’t superstitious, you wouldn’t need to be so strongly against it, apathy will triumph.

There are probably religious people out there who thinks they’re not superstitious. To refrain from being more of an asshole than I already am, I will say nothing more.