Depression Returns

Not that it ever really left, but it took a bit of a back seat for a little while there. At its worst, the depression debilitates me to the point where I can’t be bothered to do anything, not even turn on the ps3. At least for the past couple weeks I’ve been playing games. Even though I didn’t enjoy them much, I was doing something. Once again, games (and life) has disappointed me to the point where I can’t bother with it anymore. It’s not just games, it’s everything. I feel less and less inclined to be friendly to people or talk to them. I don’t bother trying to eat what I want and just stuff anything in my mouth to fill my stomach (foods only, no cocks, no homo). I don’t feel like I’ll be blogging much longer either. Even now, I turned the computer on to masturbate but I couldn’t get enough motivation to do that and I’m writing this shit instead.

Life just sucks when there’s nothing enjoyable to look forward to so there’s no point in doing anything. Forget about finding a girlfriend, I can’t even muster enough effort to find porn. I believe I’m a very tough person, physically and mentally. I can endure all kinds of shit that life throws at me and I still am enduring just fine, but at some point I’ve got to decide whether I should bother enduring shit for no reason.