Parent Children Relationship

There are people out there who genuinely believe that parents should be parents and they’re not the child’s friends. I think that’s stupid. I hope it’s not true but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true for most people because most people are genetically stupid. It’s definitely easier to ensure a child doesn’t get spoiled by playing the role of a “bad guy”, but there has to be a better way. A lot of miserable and depressed people have no friends. Most of them still have parents. Wouldn’t their lives be much better if they had 1 friend? Also, while you’re friends with someone, you’re with them a lot more and you’ll have more opportunities to parent them. If anything, it just seems like more parents aren’t willing to put in the time and effort to do it right.

Without friendship, how can two people truly love one another? Most people I see seem to be playing the role of a good child or a good parent. They’re acting. They’re pretending. There’s no genuine relationship there. I’m not saying any of these people are assholes or anything. They truly want to be good parents and good children. But they’re not. The best they can do is pretend to be the thing they want to be.

I’ve been living at my aunt’s house lately and this whole acting thing is becoming more apparent to me. It’s not like I never noticed it before, but I just decided to write about it now. Without writing out everyone’s life stories, my uncle’s had cancer for years now and is very sickly and one of his daughters tries to be a really good daughter. She tries to do things for him like helping him walk and stuff. Let’s look at the walking. She holds him while he walks, which is a very good girl thing to do. Unlike some white families, Chinese families tend to have very little physical contact. She obviously doesn’t want to be touching him. Not because he’s sick or germy or anything. Touching’s just naturally a little uncomfortable to us because it feels alien. She wants to help and she wants to show that she wants to help, but the awkward touching probably does more harm than good. That’s not true. It’s probably not doing any harm, but it’s not doing much good either is my point.

She tends to him very well. An excellence performance indeed. But at the end of the day, how much does she actually care? My uncle spends the other 23 ½ hours sitting by himself with no one to talk to. Because they’re not friends, they cannot carry out prolonged conversations. She’ll try to include him when she talks about her day or something, but it’s not a conversation. I’ve seen my uncle talk to other people. It’s not like he doesn’t have the energy to talk. It does exhaust him a little to make sounds, but it’s at least more enjoyable than slowly dying. But he doesn’t talk much with his family, because they’re not friends, because it’s not worth the energy.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s genuine love there. If love means leaving the guy alone for most of his day and watching him die slowly, then I don’t want any part in that kind of love. I want more than that. If I ever have a child, I’ll make sure to do a better job. If I end up raising a fucked up criminal for a child, at least I’ll be friends with him/her.

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Sad, Funny, and Truthful Thoughts

Lately, I’ve been sadder and truer to myself but unfortunately not any funnier. I’m wrestling with depression and it’s pinning me down on my bed all day. I’ve been lacking a reason to do anything, lacking a reason to live, so I’ve just been pretty much waiting to die… at the age of 22. It’s going to be a long ass wait.

Girls never have to wait to die. Even if they just lie in bed and not go out, horny guys will find them somehow.

Girls never have to wait to die. Even if they just lie in bed and not go out, horny guys will find them somehow.

I tried to give myself reasons to live and do things. That’s just a nice way of saying I’ve been hitting on every girl who crosses my path on the internet. It’s sad how it actually surprised me that all I was able to accomplish was creep girls away. Even blogging is feeling more and more pointless to me. I really love it when people enjoy reading the things I write. When you guys leave a comment, it brightens me up for about 2 minutes and then I go back to feeling miserable for the remaining 23 hours and 58 minutes of the day. If I earn one new follower for each entry I write, I would need to write 720 entries and then continue writing everyday in order to feel alive. But sadly, I don’t even earn 1 new follower per entry so I would need to write more than that already retardedly high number. If blogging would get me anywhere, I would probably do it more but if I wanted to get anywhere with blogging, simply writing more isn’t the way to go. I would need to do annoying twitter, tumblr, reddit, diggs, diggit, or whatever there’s available out there. I’m the most un-tech savvy techy guy ever. It’d be great if someone would do all that for me.

Boy that's a lot of numbers. We'll research what it means by using my ass to point at things on the blackboard.

Boy that’s a lot of numbers. We’ll research what it means by using my ass to point at things on the blackboard.

A little while ago, someone asked me what I wanted to be in the future and I jokingly said that I wanted to be a parasite, living off other people. That was just a dumb joke. Then I thought about it for real and I think I want to be a stay at home dad. And then I realized that that was actually just a sugar coated parasite. This isn’t just some dumb joke. Well… it is, but it’s also true. I think about whether I want kids or not and I think I do, but I know I don’t want shitty kids. Because I’m kind of a shitty person, there’s a damn good chance my kids will turn out shitty. The best chance I have at nonshitty kids is if I can actually have the time and energy to parent the child to the best of my abilities. At that point, even if the kid is still shitty, at least it’s my little piece of shit. Most parents are all busy working and making money. They spend too much time away from the child and the times that they are home, they’re too tired to spend any quality time with the child.

If she was a mom, she'd be too busy posing in front mirrors to spend time with her child. She is blinded to her own poor parenting by that stupid hat.

If she was a mom, she’d be too busy posing in front mirrors to spend time with her child. She is blinded to her own poor parenting by that stupid hat.

When I watch Two and a Half Men, it’s sad that Alan Harper is actually the character I empathize with the most because I’m the most similar to him. Alan Harper is not a character that any respectable human being should identify with. What’s even sadder is that I’m a prettier version of Alan Harper but I get laid a lot less.

 

Alan Harper got to hit that.

Alan Harper got to hit that.

And that.

And that.