I hate being horny. Correction, I hate being horny with no one to fuck. And given that I’ve never had anyone to fuck, I hate being horny. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been providing my body with the pussies that it desperately desires and it’s returning the favor by making me super depressed.
…I was going to write more and describe a “sex” dream I had but I don’t feel like doing shit anymore. I’ll just briefly summarize that in the dream, I was Ted from How I Met Your Mother about to sexually engage Lily. I thought it was weird that in my dream, I was someone with the same name as me, but not actually me.
I vision an Apple Store. A store that exclusively sells apples, the fruit. And there’s a dumbass employee who takes a bite out of each apple to match the logo.
That’s the only idea I have in mind but now I gotta think up some shit to pad this entry. Umm, electric cables are labelled male or female based on whether there’s anything sticking out or going in. (When I first learned that I thought it was a crude joke but it’s just fact) So maybe there can be transgendered and gay cables too.
Uhh… let me see if I can think of one more… Damn, it’s hard to think up this shit. …I can’t think of anything else right now so I’ll just fill this space with a dumb conversation I had with a friend the other day. I suggested that as a fail pick up line, he should go up to a girl and ask if she could help him with something and if the girl is willing to help and asks what he needs help with, he would tell her that he needs help rubbing out his erection. Maybe there can be a misdirection as well where it looks like he needed help carrying bags. Yeah I know that was lame. You can just go ahead and pretend I stopped writing after the first two lines.
I don’t know if followers get email notifications for each new post I make. If so, I apologize for posting 3 entries in a row. Actually I don’t really feel sorry but I felt like it was the right thing to write. Anyway, here’s a shitty snippet from my life of something that just happened:
I’m buying a computer from a friend and my dad wanders into the room and was randomly cocky and condescending in asking me about the computer. He asked if my friend is charging me more than retail. That is the dumbest ass question a person can ask. What kind of response does he expect? “Oh shit I forgot to take that into consideration. Thanks for saving me a ton of money!” No.
I didn’t need to respond to that and then he continued interrogating me. Keep in mind that he’s a computer illiterate person who only uses computers to check emails. He asks if it’s faster than his computer and if it’s an hp or dell computer. I told him it was custom built. After hearing my answer, my dad got pissed and stormed out of the room. Yes, this is the kind of random bullshit I have to live with. Expounding the situation only makes it sound more retarded. My dad probably got pissed because he felt dumb and couldn’t sustain his unjustified cockiness. Why the fuck would a person even feel smart for naming hp and dell brands?