Annoying Annoying People

I don’t really have much to say on the matter. I was mildly amused for a brief moment when I thought of that title/phrase and decided to write a blog about it. Now I have to actually think of something to write about it. First off, I want to clarify that the title is [verb][adjective][noun] as opposed to a repetition of an adjective for emphasis. I always thought it was neat to have “…that that…” in a sentence and be grammatically correct. I’m amused that that kind of thing exists in the English language. That’s enough of that. I’m not giving a grammar lesson here.

In order to be an annoying person, you have to be a needy person. Hmm, that’s not true. A completely non needy person can be annoying too. I’ve been annoyed by them. That happens when someone doesn’t need anything but they don’t seem very content. That becomes annoying when they’re under your hospitality. I guess I could argue that they’re actually needy as well: they have a need to feel independent even though they’re not actually as self-sufficient as they think they are. …  I have a love hate relationship with language and semantics. A lot of words are defined so broadly that you can bend them into pretty much anything you want. I am fairly good at word bending and it’s fun sometimes to bend words in ways people don’t usually use them. But other times, it makes communication more difficult and if anything can mean anything, what’s the point of saying anything?

Okay, back to annoying people. I don’t indulge annoying people. The more annoying they get, the more I ignore them. Some of them probably get annoyed by my ignorance of them. I don’t care about that. The suckier way to annoy annoying people is when you’re actually trying to be nice to them and cope with their annoyingness but they don’t appreciate your effort and continue bitching at you.

I don’t have much else to say on this subject. I better stop trying to write about nothing lest I become even more annoying.

Bored With Words

I got bored and decided to play a word game with myself. The goal is to use homophones and homonyms and whatever homo shit to form the most retarded phrases I can imagine while maintaining grammatical correctness.

Q: Cue the queue.

A: Okay, the cameras are rolling so you should tell the background actors to get in line.

Q: Unflatten my flat flat.

A: You should fix your home to make it livelier. Give it more depth, more dimension.

Q: Plant the plain plane on the plain.

A: You can’t find any airports or roads so you have to land your ordinary air-bus on a grassy field.

Q: Gay gay

A: What do you call a happy person who has a life partner.

Q: Chipped Chip chip

A: A damaged gambling currency made from potatoes.

Q: Crispy crisp

A: What do you call crunchy potatoe chips.

Q: Faggot faggot

A: Cigarettes made for homosexuals.

Q: Fake it, faggot.

A: Telling a gay person to pretend to be straight.

Q: There there, they’re there.

A: What do you say to comfort someone who is worried about people not arriving at the designated area.

Q: Man, man the manhole. Amen.

A: You give a tired prayer in hopes that they fix the sewer.

Q: Ho ho ho. Hoe’s hoes and hose.

A: The name of a shop that sells gardening and farming tools and the owner happens to be a prostitute. And say it in Santa Claus’ voice.

Q: Three free Friezas.

A: A chinese person advertising giveaways of a dragonball character.

Q: The pit’s a pizza.

A: You explain that you marked on the map the location of the hole with an Italian pie.

Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A: I ran out of orginal ideas and decided to become a fuckin’ copycat.

I call this game Homophrase. See if you can come up with more.