Twitter…

Well, I started a twitter account… It seems like something I should be doing for my “career” but I don’t look forward to it at all. I’m like an old guy in a young guy’s body. Well, my age is starting to get up there so I’ll just be an old guy before long. Anyway, follow me if you want @tedgaming_ted

Someone took tedgaming….

I’m still not used to self promotion. It feels so whorish. I think I would actually feel less shame prostituting myself than the shame I feel from self promoting online.

 

I’m releasing a game soon, here’s some videos and pics:

 

t2

random pic

 

t1

another random pic

 

 

gameplay video

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Tek Tactical Guide

For non-gamers, this might be boring for you. This post is a guide for Tek Tactical, a game I just recently published. Maybe this guide might intrigue you to try the game out. The main place to play Tek Tactical is on newgrounds.

This is the link to the old videos that roughly goes over how to access each menu.

Content:

Menus

Player Stats Menu

More Stats Menu

Equipment Menu

Skill Menu

Weapon Attachment Menu (Customize)

Weapon Fusion Menu

Achievement Menu

Shop Menu (Buy)

Shop Menu (Sell)

Stock Market Menu

Bank Menu

Setting Menu

Gameplay

Tips

Menus

There are many menus in this game. I will go over each one of them. You don’t need to learn all the menus all at once. You can survive several stages without dabbling in the menus at all.

Player Stats Menu

You don’t really do anything in this menu. It’s just a place for you to view your stats. Let me go over the effects of the 4 main stats:

Strength – Increases your attack power and weight capacity. It also moderately increases max hp and critical damage.

Endurance – Increases max hp and defense by a lot. Also moderately increases weight capacity.

Agility – Increases your character’s movement speed and hp regeneration speed. Moderately increases item manget range.

Luck – Increases every stat by a bit and also increases item drop rate and the number of bullets you pick up. Increases item magnet range by a lot.

Whenever you level up, you gain one of every stat and 2 free stat points for you to distribute. All builds have their advantages but endurance is generally the best stat. It’s also good to note that the higher a stat, the higher the effect it grants. For example, gaining 1 strength from 900 strength to 901 strength gives you greater effects than 20 strength to 21 strength.

More Stats Menu

You access this menu from the button at the top of the player stats menu. There’s not much to explain here. It’s a menu for you to see all the game statistics so you have an idea of what the game keeps track of for you to earn achievements and more experience for your skills.

Equipment Menu

This is one of the most important menus in the game. The best way to get stronger is to equip the awesome loots you find from killing the enemies. Near the top of the menu, you choose what type of equipment you want to change, and then the window will show you what you can choose from.

w1, w2, w3, w4 are primary weapon slots. You only start off with w1 and w2 and you’ll unlock the other two as you progress the game.

t1 is your grenade slot. The t stands for throw.

t2 is your melee slot. You throw your melee weapons in this game.

r1, r2, r3, r4 are your ring slots. Rings give you great stats boosts so be sure to equip your rings. You unlock more skill slots as you earn more achievements. You can view the achievement menu to see the requirement and rewards for all the achievements.

head slot is for you to equip special heads that you can purchase in the shop with ad credits. Heads change the appearance of your character and also affects your stats.

body slot is for you to equip special bodies that you can purchase (blah blah blah, just like the heads).

Skill Menu

You can access the skill menu by clicking the “switch to skills” button at the top of the equipment menu. Skills grant you excellent passive effects and can be leveled up infinitely. The more you use your skills, the more skill experience you get and the more bonus money you’ll get. Some of the later skills grant incredible powers and completely change the way you play the game.

Weapon Attachment Menu

This is where to apply attachments to your weapons. You access this menu by click the “customize” button at the bottom of the screen. First you choose your weapon. Your w1 weapon is selected for you by default. Then on the right side, you select the attachment slot you want to apply. When you hover over each section, it’ll show you whether or not you have attachments to use. Then you click it and select the attachment to power up your weapons. This explanation felt unnecessary, lol.

Weapon Fusion Menu

If you have two or more of the same weapon, you can fuse them together to make even stronger weapons. You access the fusion menu by clicking the “wpn fusion” button at the top of the weapon attachment/customize menu. The closer the weapon’s stats, the better the match rate and the resulting weapon will be stronger. If you try to fuse two weapons that have wildly different stats, you might end up with a weaker weapon. The more weapons you fuse, the higher your fusion level will be. The higher your fusion level, the greater stat boosts your fused weapons will get. Keep on fusing and create the strongest weapon ever!

Achievement Menu

This menu lets you see the requirements and rewards for all 130 of the achievements. I also included some jokes and other quirky musings in the descriptions to keep things interesting.

Shop Menu (Buy)

This is where you can buy all sorts of things to help you in your survival against endless waves of enemies. One of the most important thing is ammunitions. Without that, your fights will become much more difficult. You can also buy “no ads” to remove interlevel ads. These cost ad credits. You can buy ad credits with money. You can buy money with ad credits, but the conversion rate is terrible so you probably never want to do that. You can buy herbs that boosts your stats. You can buy weapons, attachments, rings, and custom heads and body parts to equip. You can also buy more difficulty settings to personalize how the game plays.

The more money you spend, the more your shop level will rise. Higher shop levels will have shops with more items for you to buy. The shops will even have more herbs!

Shop Menu (Sell)

You access this by clicking the “buy ←→ sell” button at the top of the shop menu. You can sell everything you don’t need here. Checking the “sell max” checkbox allows you to sell ammo easier. Clicking “sell all” will sell everything you’re not equipping but it won’t sell any of your ammunition. The higher your shop level, the more money you get back when you sell stuff. It goes without saying that you can never get more than what the item’s worth.

Stock Market Menu

This is one of the best ways to earn more money in the game. You check out the values of each gem and decide which one you want to buy. You would want to buy low and sell high. Good luck with that. After a while, you’ll gain the ability to sometimes see what the future stock values will be and then it’ll almost feel like cheating.

Bank Menu

You can access the bank menu by clicking on the “switch to bank” button at the top of the stock market menu. The bank is where you’ll find more ways to earn money. If buying stocks is too random for you, you can buy bonds which give you good interest rates but it’ll lock down your money for a certain number of stages. The bonds that lock your money down for more stages will have higher interest rates. When you earn money from the bank, you’ll raise your bank level which is give you more bond options to choose from and increase the daily interest rate for your unused money.

Setting Menu

You can adjust the volume here, turn off gore mode if you don’t like seeing blood and flying body parts from explosion, turn off the “headshot” and “critical hit” texts, and access a few other menus. The ad settings menu lets you choose how frequently you see ads. The more ads you choose to see, the more ad credits it’ll reward you. You can change all the game’s buttons from the key config menu. The difficulty adjusting menu is the same as the one you see before you begin the next stage. Higher difficulty ratings will give you more money and more experience so you should try to play the game as hard as you can handle.

Tips

There aren’t many tips for this game. Every weapon can become super strong and you should use them all in  order to get all the achievements. Achievement rewards can make you pretty strong.

Toggle Trick

Sometimes, you might want to toggle a key. There’s a trick to doing that. First you hold down the key, then you click outside the flash game window to unfocus it. Let go of the key. Then click the flash game window again and the key will be “toggled”. Press the key again to untoggle it.

That’s pretty much it for now. Let me know if you want me to elaborate or anything else.

Depressed or Super Depressed

Even the title depresses me. Not because there’s any real reason, it’s because of the word tense. I wanted it to reflect my thought of whether I wanted to make this blog post depressing or super depressing. The one in the title works better as a title but it sounds like it’s describing me, which is kind of true, but I didn’t want it to be so depressing. I guess I don’t want the super depressed, but I’m pretty sure this blog entry will turn out closer to being super depressing.

Tek Tactical had its first release on Thursday morning. After nearly two days, it has 16k views at this point. If people wanted to complete all the achievements in the game, an easy one is to click on the link to my blog. Only about a hundred people out of sixteen thousand has click it so far. That’s a very disappointing number. The number should increase as people play the game more. Oh but I think the view count would increase too so I guess the click through ratio will always remain low.

The next depressing thing is that I totally fucked up the game. I tested the game out for hundreds of hours for a full month, but new bugs arose from the final implementation of ads, which is the most important part of the game because I need to make money off it. Money’s important. Otherwise, I would’ve spent thousands of hours on the computer to please children and that sounds a lot like a pedophile. The part I fucked up is that I didn’t test the game much in its final version for release. I played through a couple stages to make sure everything looks fine, and it certainly looked fine. The game has a ton of features and there was no way I was going through all of it. Heck, even after testing for hundreds of hours, I still haven’t gone through everything once yet. Looks can be deceiving I guess because there was a fatal bug that completely breaks the game. A lot of players experienced a problem where they cannot open the equipment menu. That ruined the entire game. There were a lot of very cool and understanding people but there were also a lot of dickheads. I didn’t care about the dickheads, but I felt really bad for the nice and encouraging people because I couldn’t fix the bug for them right away. I can’t fix what I can’t see. I bet even Jesus couldn’t do that.

I won’t get into any technical detail, but suffice to say the whole thing was a fuckfest. It took me this whole time, nearly two days, to find this stupid bug. … … … I’ve bitched about this so much already to other people and now I feel shitty cause I’m being a repetitive bitch. I’m just going to go ahead and skip all the detail here and say that there were two obstacles that were out of my control. I brilliantly worked my way around both of them, pleased dozens of people, and yet I still feel like shit. …I don’t know if I’m really a needy little bitch or not. I don’t need to be bitching about my feelings, I could survive without doing it, but I’m doing it anyway. I can’t even imagine how annoying it must be for people to read this. If you plan to read ahead, brace yourself for more bitching.

Before releasing Tek, I had predicted the possibility that I won’t get much joy out of people complimenting the game. This shitty prediction turned out to be true. I spent most of the past two days reading all comments and reviews. A lot of people love the game and it’s probably the best thing some of them have ever seen. I won’t pretend like it doesn’t feel good to be praised, but the feelings don’t last at all.

I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to write this entry. It turned out very unfunny and pointless. One reason I wanted to write an entry is to bump out the selfies from the blog’s homepage. I was hoping I’d have something interesting to say along the way but I proved myself wrong. There was one line in this whole entry that I liked. Can you guess which line? That’s my lazy attempt at trying to end this a little more positively. Is that even possible at this point? Umm… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…. I think I’ll reward myself with a little masturbation session after posting this blog. Is that any better? l wonder how many people I just scared away from my blog with this.

Who Wants A Great Advertising Deal?

If you have a website that you’d like to advertise, I’ve got a great deal for you. This Thursday/Friday, I will be releasing Tek Tactical, a game that I’ve been working on for far longer than I should’ve. I have developed an advertising system in there that cycles through ads and rewards players for viewing ads. I partnered up with an artist for this project; The artist’s last game amassed 345k views on newgrounds alone and he believes that Tek Tactical is the best game he’s ever made so I’m hoping to see even greater numbers than that.

So, if you have something you’d like to advertise, I can probably make an amazing deal with you. I was going to write another entry about me being too lazy to lie but I’m just going to lump it into this one. I have a friend who psychopathically lies in hopes to simplify explanations. I’ve seen it backfire on him so many times, causing him to frustratingly continue a web of lies or explain the lie, and yet he still does it. I call him a psychopathic liar in jest, but it’s kinda true. At least he’s not dishonest though. He doesn’t lie to get ahead in life. It’s just a stupid habit of his.

I, on the other hand, go out of my way to tell you more truth than you need to know. I will tell you way too many deep dark thoughts to the point where I scare everyone away. My point is, I will try my honest best to get you the best advertising deal with me. I added a bunch of random people on facebook for Candy Crush and one of them seems to sell stuff online. I struck an ad deal with her. When we were discussing compensation, she was going with the norm and suggested to pay me per view I get her. I told her no, she should pay me for sales, not for views. That way, she only pays me when she get paid. It’s a win-win. I don’t even know this woman. The only thing I know about her is that she plays Candy Crush. And for once, I didn’t even fantasize about getting in her pants or anything so I had no reason to be nice to her other than for the sake of being a nice person.

So… if you have something that would benefit from advertising, you should contact me so I can work something out with you. My email is tedgaming@gmail.com