Twitter…

Well, I started a twitter account… It seems like something I should be doing for my “career” but I don’t look forward to it at all. I’m like an old guy in a young guy’s body. Well, my age is starting to get up there so I’ll just be an old guy before long. Anyway, follow me if you want @tedgaming_ted

Someone took tedgaming….

I’m still not used to self promotion. It feels so whorish. I think I would actually feel less shame prostituting myself than the shame I feel from self promoting online.

 

I’m releasing a game soon, here’s some videos and pics:

 

t2

random pic

 

t1

another random pic

 

 

gameplay video

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Depressed or Super Depressed

Even the title depresses me. Not because there’s any real reason, it’s because of the word tense. I wanted it to reflect my thought of whether I wanted to make this blog post depressing or super depressing. The one in the title works better as a title but it sounds like it’s describing me, which is kind of true, but I didn’t want it to be so depressing. I guess I don’t want the super depressed, but I’m pretty sure this blog entry will turn out closer to being super depressing.

Tek Tactical had its first release on Thursday morning. After nearly two days, it has 16k views at this point. If people wanted to complete all the achievements in the game, an easy one is to click on the link to my blog. Only about a hundred people out of sixteen thousand has click it so far. That’s a very disappointing number. The number should increase as people play the game more. Oh but I think the view count would increase too so I guess the click through ratio will always remain low.

The next depressing thing is that I totally fucked up the game. I tested the game out for hundreds of hours for a full month, but new bugs arose from the final implementation of ads, which is the most important part of the game because I need to make money off it. Money’s important. Otherwise, I would’ve spent thousands of hours on the computer to please children and that sounds a lot like a pedophile. The part I fucked up is that I didn’t test the game much in its final version for release. I played through a couple stages to make sure everything looks fine, and it certainly looked fine. The game has a ton of features and there was no way I was going through all of it. Heck, even after testing for hundreds of hours, I still haven’t gone through everything once yet. Looks can be deceiving I guess because there was a fatal bug that completely breaks the game. A lot of players experienced a problem where they cannot open the equipment menu. That ruined the entire game. There were a lot of very cool and understanding people but there were also a lot of dickheads. I didn’t care about the dickheads, but I felt really bad for the nice and encouraging people because I couldn’t fix the bug for them right away. I can’t fix what I can’t see. I bet even Jesus couldn’t do that.

I won’t get into any technical detail, but suffice to say the whole thing was a fuckfest. It took me this whole time, nearly two days, to find this stupid bug. … … … I’ve bitched about this so much already to other people and now I feel shitty cause I’m being a repetitive bitch. I’m just going to go ahead and skip all the detail here and say that there were two obstacles that were out of my control. I brilliantly worked my way around both of them, pleased dozens of people, and yet I still feel like shit. …I don’t know if I’m really a needy little bitch or not. I don’t need to be bitching about my feelings, I could survive without doing it, but I’m doing it anyway. I can’t even imagine how annoying it must be for people to read this. If you plan to read ahead, brace yourself for more bitching.

Before releasing Tek, I had predicted the possibility that I won’t get much joy out of people complimenting the game. This shitty prediction turned out to be true. I spent most of the past two days reading all comments and reviews. A lot of people love the game and it’s probably the best thing some of them have ever seen. I won’t pretend like it doesn’t feel good to be praised, but the feelings don’t last at all.

I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to write this entry. It turned out very unfunny and pointless. One reason I wanted to write an entry is to bump out the selfies from the blog’s homepage. I was hoping I’d have something interesting to say along the way but I proved myself wrong. There was one line in this whole entry that I liked. Can you guess which line? That’s my lazy attempt at trying to end this a little more positively. Is that even possible at this point? Umm… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…. I think I’ll reward myself with a little masturbation session after posting this blog. Is that any better? l wonder how many people I just scared away from my blog with this.

Awesome Unreleased Content From Tedgaming

I had taken my first steps into indie game development and just when I started making some pretty cool things, I got bored with life and gave up trying. I’ve made several things that the public has never seen and now I will be releasing a bunch of them here. I’m not releasing this as a gallery of what I’ve given up. It’s quite the opposite actually. I’m hoping that people will see and like this and urge me to resume my projects. You should click on the images and see everything in action.

It's kind of hard to present an animation in a screenshot. Click on it to see it in action.

It’s kind of hard to present an animation in a screenshot. Click on it to see it in action.

There are a couple things being shown here. First, I have this center of gravity in the middle of the screen that sucks the dots in and launches them back out in circular trajectories. Then I demonstrate pixel manipulation where I grab an image and make the pixels dance. I picked a text in this case but the code will work with any image. The effect itself isn’t too amazing but it taught me how to manipulate pixels and I can do a lot cooler things from here on out. I can, but I never did anything else. Anyway, let me demonstrate the effect with another picture. I should’ve removed all the unnecessary junk but I was too lazy to work on it too much. However, my laziness shows how easy it was for me to just swap the images.

I just grabbed the picture from a recent blog entry, lol.

I just grabbed the picture from a recent blog entry, lol.

The proudest game I made was PRO-R, a shoot-em-up game you can find on newgrounds, kongregate, and a bunch of other flash game sites. It was the first time I tried making a game I would enjoy playing and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I played well over 40 hours of it after I’ve released the game. Most “real” games can’t even entertain me for that long. I was surprised at how good a job I did. Then I was surprised at how poorly the game did and how I made almost no money from it. The only reason that it’s my proudest game is because it’s the only non-casual game that I’ve ever finished making. This game showed me that I’m really as good at making games as I think I am. The next games I release will be much more amazing and I would be prouder of those. I just need to finish them. Aside from the mediocre graphics, the other bad thing about this game is that it’s not very welcoming to new players. If you don’t know the optimal way to earn money and upgrade weapons, it could feel pretty grindy. I started working on a sequel and you can check that out. There are 3 weapons. Press V to auto-fire them all. You can check out each weapon with Z, X, and C. (You may need to click the screen before it lets you control with the keyboard.)

The screenshot was taken with another version of the game so you won't actually be able to use that cool green weapon.

The screenshot was taken with another version of the game so you won’t actually be able to use that cool green weapon.

There are a lot of cool things I made there and lots of variables I can tweak with the weapons. If/when I finish making this game, it’ll be so fun collecting weapons and combing them to customize them just the way you like it. You can try out some of the other fancy weapons here without enemies getting in the way.

You can play with the fancy green weapon here.

You can play with the fancy green weapon here.

This next one shows off how cool it looks when you combine varying speeds of the same weapon.

Click the image to see the awesome wings in action.

Click the image to see the awesome wings in action.

If we’re talking about cool unfinished games, we can’t forget about Tek Tactical. This was my most recent project and it was very promising. The image below will link you to the kickstarter page with a lot of info on the game and there are some playable demos in there too.

The kickstarter page has all the info on the game. The game was actually developed a bit further since this was written.

The kickstarter page has all the info on the game. The game was actually developed a bit further since this was written.

The rest of this article will be dedicated to balls. Lots of balls. I played around with a lot of balls and some of these look really cool so you should check it out. This first one shows a bunch of balls bouncing around. It may sound plain, but it’s very hypnotic and I’ve stared at them for minutes on end.

You can click the screen to reanimate the balls.

You can click the screen to reanimate the balls.

This next one has more balls and I stopped separating them when they’re at ground level.

More balls.

More balls.

I loved watching these balls bounce around so I tried to think of a way to make a game out of it. That’s when I came up with the idea of creating a ball that you can control to bump into the other balls.

You can interact with the balls.

You can interact with the balls.

I turned this into a game called B-Sort. Again, this game did very poorly in terms of making me money. Maybe the problem isn’t the games but it’s the way I publicize them. The game’s pretty neat but I often prefer just bumping the balls around with no objectives. Here’s a couple more you can play around with.

Have you ever seen this many balls?

Have you ever seen this many balls?

This was actually going to be a game called B-Climb but I never bothered finishing it.

This was actually going to be a game called B-Climb but I never bothered finishing it.

That’s it for now. I hope you enjoyed my balls and the other cools things I’ve made. My hope is that a lot of people will love this article and make it popular which might motivate me to make cooler things and finish off some of these projects. Realistically, I’ll probably only have the same 10 people reading this who reads the rest of my blog. C’mon world, prove me wrong!

Looking To Get Fucked From Online Dating

As a virgin, I spend many nights feeling lonely. I constantly cruise around dating sites and craigslist, looking to get fucked basically. I’d like to think I’m classier than that, but I ain’t fooling anyone. If sex isn’t on my mind at all, I would just call up my guy friends to cure the loneliness. Although I’ve never found sex, I’ve gotten fucked by online dating… more than once…

One time I went as far as buying condoms and brought wine to a stranger’s house and it turned out to be some kind of prank or something. In retrospect, I was a total dumbass for not calling and doing a voice confirmation first. This is one of those few times my cheapness bit me in the ass as deep as it possibly could. When the prankster told me that I didn’t need to call “her”, instead of being suspicious, I was thrilled that I wasn’t going to have to waste 25 cents per minute with the call but I ended up wasting ~$10 on condom and gas. This happened about a year ago and to this day, those condoms remain unused.

With my cheapness, I’m also cheap with my internet bandwidth usage. I was on a dating site once and decided to turn off all Adobe Flash features to save on whatever tiny bit of bandwidth I would save. As usual, I had no luck that night so I resumed working on my Flash games. At the time, making Flash games was my top priority in life. All of a sudden, my game didn’t work properly anymore and I had to spend hours and hours debugging it. Turns out, the feature I turned off on the dating site affected the Flash Player I was working with. Once again, no sex but I got fucked good.