For Fuck’s Sake

How far am I willing to go for fuck’s sake? Apparently very far. I’ve driven hours and hours and never once complained about all the driving for fuck’s sake. I’ll even gladly leave the country, for fuck’s sake.

 

I’ve been working out, for fuck’s sake. Pretty much every time I work out, it’s for fuck’s sake. Ironically, every time I’ve gotten laid was at a time when I had given up on working out. Maybe I need to stop working out if I want to get laid again.

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Look at that awesome cuddle-body-pillow. Someone needs to claim it pronto.

Sex blunders are always funny so I should write about a recent one. I actually fell asleep twice while eating pussy, to the point where I was having dreams. Even now, I can’t believe that happened. If I had to spin it positively, I can say that I am so comfortable around pussies that I can fall asleep with my tongue resting on one. It is purely unfortunate that I was so tired at the time. Now that I’m well-rested, I have too much energy and don’t know what to do with it anymore.

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Explaining “Fucking” In Languge

Sometimes, a saying makes more literal sense than we think. When we saying something is fucking good, we’re saying that it’s as good as sex. When we call someone a fucking jerk, we’re saying that the guy might as well be fucking you. The jerk is fucking you against your will of course so he’s essentially raping you. We better think twice before calling someone a fucking jerk because it’s quite an accusation.

However, I can’t quite figure out the explanation for calling someone a fucking asshole. If there’s some sort of non consensual sexual intercourse happening, the asshole isn’t the one on the offensive. Perhaps the person is an asshole because it was originally consensual sex and I was expecting to be fucking a vagina hole and then part way through I suddenly realize that I was fucking a dude’s ass so that’s why I’m saying “You fucking asshole.” Calling someone a fucking asshole is actually an exclamation of surprise. It’s also important to note that in this scenario, even though the other person’s the asshole, I am an active participant so it’s not the same as the other person being a jerk. Before we call someone a fucking asshole, perhaps we should first re-evaluate our involvement in the conflict.

…Or don’t do any re-evaluating at all because I only wrote this fucking bullshit for fun and there isn’t any profound meaning to extrapolate out of it. Speaking of which, fucking bullshit is as bad as suddenly realizing I’ve been fucking a piece of bull’s shit. I think that pretty much summarizes what you just read.