Hospital Blog: Let Down By Friend Again

Before I write about the friend, let me do a little hospital update. A new woman got pushed in to occupy the spot next to me. She looks like an old person who looks good for her age. Or maybe she looks old for her age. I wouldn’t know unless I actually know her age which I doubt I’ll find out. There’s not much that’s worth writing about other than the fact that I’m glad I’ve seen a prostitute so that the first boob I’ve ever seen is not the boob of a dying old woman. She was probably operated on recently because she’s naked under the blankets. She tells the nurse that her arm is numb and so I got to see 60% of her boob when they were looking at her arm. She maintained that level of exposure for a long time. I’m not proud to say that I glanced over many times to see if I could see more of the boob. Surprisingly, they were able to keep the nipple perfectly concealed during that entire time. This was not a proud night for me. It would’ve been embarrassing if someone caught me looking and told me to look away.

I feel like anything I say now will have no credibility because I just made myself out to be quite a pathetic perverted loser. Anyway, let me write about this friend that I mentioned in the title. My friendship with him is a bit of an odd one. I met him in high school, in grade 9, when we partnered up for a few science projects. We never chatted in school but we talked quite a bit when I was over at his house working on those projects. We seem like we’re friend-compatible but we never really became friends because neither of us were particularly looking for more friends.

That was pretty much the extent of our interaction in high school. After finishing high school, I got invited out to play soccer, basketball, and other sports quite often because I’m a sporty guy and not a douche and they could always use more players. I met this friend several times during these sport gatherings and we were friendly with each other, but there was no special connection or anything. Within the next 2 years, this guy invited me out to several 1-on-1 activities. We played basketball once, just the two of us. We also played tennis and did 5k runs together several times. I was invited to play Rock Band and other games with him on a number of occasions. I never initiate contact though. He does the inviting every time and I say yes to it every time.

I never thought anything of it but when I think back on those days, it almost seems like he’s making an effort to befriend me and I just go along with it, without putting in any effort of my own. One time, he even invited me to go swimming with him, just the two of us, at night, at his uncle’s condo. In retrospect, that almost sounds like a gay experience. There was nothing gay about it though. We never touched each other, not even accidentally or “accidentally”. I also knew that he had a girlfriend so it didn’t cross my mind that the whole thing might’ve seemed a little gay.

About a year ago, he invited me out to brunch, just the two of us. Okay, I made that sound gay on purpose. It wasn’t actually brunch. It was dim sum which is a Chinese meal between breakfast and lunch so it’s kind of like brunch except it doesn’t have any of the romantic connotations. Chinese restaurants are not romantic at all. I agreed to go at first but for one reason or another, I bailed out in the end. I don’t remember the detail, but it wasn’t a firm “date” and I already ate lunch by the time he contacted me that day. I also didn’t have a car that day. He didn’t offer to drive and I didn’t ask because it wasn’t like I really wanted to go anyway.

This past Saturday, I saw him posting on facebook, asking if anyone wanted to have dim sum with him on Sunday. No one responded and I know exactly how sucky it feels to post something on facebook that everyone ignores so I decided to reach out and ask if he wanted to go with me. He said sure, so I figured we had a “date”. I tried to set up a tentative time with him but he didn’t respond. He continued to not respond until Sunday evening when he said, “Sorry, I had dim sum with my girlfriend. We’ll go next time.”

Is it just me or was that pretty shitty of him? He should’ve at least had the decency to tell me if he was going to cancel instead of making me wait around all day. This is really starting to sound like some gay relationship drama. Not that he’s done this to me before (or at least not that I remember), but it seems all my friends have done this kind of shit to me. Not only do they cancel plans, they play these stupid bitch-hunting games where they don’t respond. Fuck this shit. I don’t need “friends” like these. Is it any wonder why I dislike people as much as I do? Everyone around me behaves so damn disrespectfully.

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SFT Podcast Episode 31 – Stand Up Gay Bit

I might try doing another open mic for stand up comedy and I tell my favorite bit that I wrote last night about gay stuff. I also do a lot of rambling afterwards. By the end of it, I got pretty sick of myself, lol.

Dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/sm/create/SFTpodcast/SFT-0031-Stand-Up-Gay-Bits.mp3

Youtube: http://youtu.be/wdmpytqk9r0

If the above link doesn’t work, you should always check here (https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/where-to-download-sad-funny-truthful-podcast/) for the updated links to download the podcast. I will also provide the link to download all the episodes there and it might even have newer and better links.

Sponsor:

koncepp.com

If you mention Ted (my name) and this podcast, you’ll get 10% off any service they provide from branding to logo design to website design to social media to mobile apps. Basically anything that’s online (which is everything), they can help you with it. The special deal right now is that they can host your personal website for $80 a year!

SFT Podcast Episode 6 – I Might Be Gay

Still reading jokes and I think I must’ve read a bunch of gay jokes that triggered further contemplation on whether I might actually be gay. I was thinking I might’ve gone over my prison jokes here but looking at the chronology, I think that’s what episode 2’s “gay” was about and this one would be something else.

Dropbox:

SFT Podcast Episode 6 – I Might Be Gay

Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVOcq64vugQ

If the above link doesn’t work, you should always check here (https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/where-to-download-sad-funny-truthful-podcast/) for the updated links to download the podcast. I will also provide the link to download all the episodes there and it might even have newer and better links.

Sponsor:

koncepp.com

If you mention Ted (my name) and this podcast, you’ll get 10% off any service they provide from branding to logo design to website design to social media to mobile apps. Basically anything that’s online (which is everything), they can help you with it. The special deal right now is that they can host your personal website for $80 a year!

SFT Podcast Episode 2 – Reading Jokes, Gay

After failing miserably in the first episode, I decided to execute my backup plan where I read all the jokes I’ve written over the years. Some of these may have just been joke ideas but I thought a lot of them were pretty decent and original. Apparently, there’s some gay talk in there since I titled the episode with that word but I don’t really remember what context that came up in.

Dropbox:

SFT Podcast Episode 2 – Reading Jokes, Gay

Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58gqPAca9Oo

If the above link doesn’t work, you should always check here (https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/where-to-download-sad-funny-truthful-podcast/) for the updated links to download the podcast. I will also provide the link to download all the episodes there and it might even have newer and better links.

Sponsor:

koncepp.com

If you mention Ted (my name) and this podcast, you’ll get 10% off any service they provide from branding to logo design to website design to social media to mobile apps. Basically anything that’s online (which is everything), they can help you with it. The special deal right now is that they can host your personal website for $80 a year!

Solution For Gay Marriage

Isn’t it about time for people to stop talking about gay marriage? I think it should be legal but a lot of idiots refuse to legalize it and I’m getting sick of hearing people continuing to blindly fight for gay marriage. If those idiots simply won’t change their minds on false grounds, why are you joining their idiocy and fighting them on the same ground?

If there are idiots who claim that marriage should be between a man and a woman, then just call gay marriage something else. Call it gayrage, homorage, whatever you want. Make new laws regarding this new type of marriage that mirrors normal marriage. The idiots who are can’t reconcile with the idea of gay marriage won’t be smart enough to figure out the ruse of the new type of marriage. Just tell them it’s a way to separate the gays to appease them, but we’ll actually be legalizing gay marriage under a different name.

Most idiots will stay idiots forever. You don’t try to teach them rocket science, so why would you try to get them to understand gay marriage? The more you bother them about accepting gays, the more they hate gays because of the confrontation you’re creating. Stop fighting them and they’ll stop fighting back.

Discrimination: When is it Okay? Almost Always.

I’m not condoning hateful behavior because discrimination is a lot more than that. Most of the world is rather unintelligent and they discriminate improperly and that should not be done. But that doesn’t mean nobody should ever discriminate. At its very core, discrimination is simply differentiation. Everyone is different so they should be treated differently. They should be treated fairly, but not equally. It would be retarded to test a fish on its ability to climb a tree. Just like how it’s retarded to hire a fresh off the boat Chinese person who doesn’t speak English to be your customer service representative. The person is unfit for the job not because she’s Chinese, but because he doesn’t fuckin’ speak a lick of English.

She might not speak a lick of English but she's still a great model because models don't need to talk.

She might not speak a lick of English but she’s still a great model because models don’t need to talk.

I was listening to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast where he interviewed Jason Stuart, a gay comedian. Jason was bitching about how hard it was for him to get jobs because he’s gay and how he just lost a job because he’s gay. His bitchings got on my nerve. He wasn’t having a hard time because of his sexual preference; he was having a hard time because he was being a faggot. At one point Jason said, “Am I supposed to change who I am just because I’m on a job?” Yes, Jason, you should. It’s not so crazy to ask a person to change who they are. There are lots of rapists out there who’re doing a damn fine job holding in their urges and not raping everyone they see. Should they also just be who they are?

Just like how she would need to change if she wanted an English speaking office job. She would need to speak English and stop positioning herself for fecal excretion in public.

Just like how she would need to change if she wanted an English speaking office job. She would need to speak English and stop positioning herself for fecal excretion in public.

You don’t get hired to express your feelings. Go do that on your own time when you’re not getting paid. When you’re working, you should be a good worker and stfu unless you’re spoken to. If you can’t do that, you’re just not the kind of worker they’re looking for. It has absolutely nothing to do with what you do with your penis and asshole during your free time. You’re just a bad worker who also happens to be gay. Just like how athletes are hired because they’re good athletes and not because they’re black. They just usually happen to be black.

This girl, however, is here because I googled "pretty black girl" for a picture to put here.

This girl, however, is here because I googled “pretty black girl” for a picture to put here.

There’s a fine line between differentiation and hateful discrimination. Most people are just too stupid and associate all forms of differentiation as discrimination. Sometimes there are gray areas but sometimes it’s obviously unhateful. If you’re smart enough, you won’t need to resort to being offended as a default state. Here’s a progression of statements to demonstrate what I mean. “All women have breasts.” That is just plain fact and there’s nothing sexist about it. “All women have to dress accordingly depending on how they want their breasts to look in public.” That’s still perfectly factual with nothing sexist about it. Even if they don’t care about the way they dress, the way they end up dressing still affects the way their breasts look. “All women get a positive correlation of attention from men depending on the amount of boob they’re showing.” This is starting to hit some gray areas but it’s still mostly simply fact. If there’s any negative generalization, it’s not about women behavior at all; it’s about how men are dogs. But many people out there will gladly accuse me for making a negative accusation on women behavior. Well, I’m here to pre-emptively j’accuse you first.

 

J'accuse her for showing off her boobs on purpose.

J’accuse her for showing off her boobs on purpose.

Shit Stories Part XI: Anal Pleasures

Congratulations. My asshole hair got 10 likes so I will now be adding pictures of pretty girls to all my shit stories. I have also gone back and retroactively added them to all previous shit stories. I spent a lot of time on these so you should revisit them and appreciate all my hard work. Let me help you. https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/category/shit-stories/ And don’t forget the older ones too. https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/category/shit-stories/page/2/

Like a good book, I can read these shit stories again and again.

Like a good book, I can read these shit stories again and again.


Okay, anal pleasures. The more homophobic readers might think this is gay; but it’s not. There are sensitive nerve endings in our assholes that give us pleasure when stimulated. That is a fact. That is why taking a good healthy shit feels wonderful. It’s the way our bodies have evolved to encourage us to get rid of waste instead of keeping it in the body. The thicker and longer the shit, the better it feels. Read: Phallic objects feel good in our asses. That said, it’s only gay when you put an actual dick in there.

Wink.

Wink.

I haven’t fingered my ass yet so this isn’t a post-justification; it’s a pre-justification. I’m still waiting to get 100 likes here. Once I get 100 likes, I will do it as promised. I need these arbitrary rules in my life. Even though I still can’t blame anyone but myself if things go wrong, at least I know there will be people who gets a laugh out of it. With all my recent anal talk and my discussion with MrJohnson about fleshlights in the comment section here, I’m turning into quite a sex-freak and shit-monger. Living with my parents, I don’t have many places I can hide a fleshlight but I just thought of a brilliant place for it. Now I just need someone to send me a fleshlight so I can make some delightful pictures for the internet to see. Sponsors are welcomed. Come on, sex toy shops, are you reading this?

C'mon sponsors. Please?

C’mon sponsors. Please?

As a tech savvy person, I always joked that it would be funny if I ran a porn site because of what I have to say at family gatherings when people ask me what I do. Now it will be even funnier if I get sponsored to play with and blog about sex toys.

Your family will forever avoid eye contact like I'm doing right now.

Your family will forever avoid eye contact like I’m doing right now.