Sketch Ideas Part I

These sketch idea entries are going to be brief. Although each idea can be expanded greatly, I will not be doing any expansions. These ideas will be so great that anyone would be able to think up multiple hilarious scenarios spawning from the premise.

You know the saying “good cop, bad cop”? Well, I’m here to say “good cop, black cop”. That’s all I’m going to say for this one.

This next sketch is an authority figure handing out rape whistles but then he runs out of whistles so he hands a party blower as a replacement. There’s such a sweet ironic imagery because both items technically function the same way but the tone they present is so different.

rape party blower

Explaining “Fucking” In Languge

Sometimes, a saying makes more literal sense than we think. When we saying something is fucking good, we’re saying that it’s as good as sex. When we call someone a fucking jerk, we’re saying that the guy might as well be fucking you. The jerk is fucking you against your will of course so he’s essentially raping you. We better think twice before calling someone a fucking jerk because it’s quite an accusation.

However, I can’t quite figure out the explanation for calling someone a fucking asshole. If there’s some sort of non consensual sexual intercourse happening, the asshole isn’t the one on the offensive. Perhaps the person is an asshole because it was originally consensual sex and I was expecting to be fucking a vagina hole and then part way through I suddenly realize that I was fucking a dude’s ass so that’s why I’m saying “You fucking asshole.” Calling someone a fucking asshole is actually an exclamation of surprise. It’s also important to note that in this scenario, even though the other person’s the asshole, I am an active participant so it’s not the same as the other person being a jerk. Before we call someone a fucking asshole, perhaps we should first re-evaluate our involvement in the conflict.

…Or don’t do any re-evaluating at all because I only wrote this fucking bullshit for fun and there isn’t any profound meaning to extrapolate out of it. Speaking of which, fucking bullshit is as bad as suddenly realizing I’ve been fucking a piece of bull’s shit. I think that pretty much summarizes what you just read.