It should be dishonest but whatever. I spent way too much time just sitting here thinking of the title and I just want to start writing some crap already.
I have always prided myself in being open, direct, and honest. I’ve been thinking about a few of my recent interactions and I realized that I have not maintained that integrity. In an effort to make nice with people, I noticed that I haven’t been as blunt and honest as I associated myself to being.
It’s easy to be blunt when there’s no one to offend. It’s easy to be honest to myself. But when other people are involved, things get a little more complicated. Sometimes, telling the truth can make me a dick, not just when it’s uncalled for. I’ve done that in the past and accidentally pissed off people. But I also don’t like being as prissy I’ve been lately either.
All this honest talk reminds me of a story I heard on a podcast today. The guy gives himself random challenges sometimes and one time he challenged himself not to tell a single lie for a week. It was decades ago and he was trying to enroll in a journalism course and it required him to have a typing speed of over 25 WPM but he was only able to get 21. He asked his Asian roommate to help him pass the test and the Asian dude passed it with a whopping 60-something WPM. When they interviewed him for the enrollment, they asked him how come he jumped from 20 WPM to 60 WPM. Instead of lying and saying he was tired or something, he told the truth and got banned from ever enrolling in that course.
Absolute truth telling can be more trouble than it’s worth. I’m still not quite sure what I want to do with my honesty. I’m probably going to go through this cycle for the rest of my life: Be honest and accidentally make some dick moves or get in trouble → feel bad about it and tell more lies → feel like a dishonest priss-tart and try to be more honest again…
People often say “no thanks” to things to not cause any trouble or inconvenience. However, declining the offer is often far more inconvenient and annoying. Usually, by the time the person offers, he’s already prepared to do whatever he’s offering. Declining the offer then becomes more troublesome than actually doing whatever’s offered.
I’m not saying people should say yes to everything. There are many times where you really don’t want the thing that’s offered. But when someone defaults to saying no to everything, it becomes very annoying. What, is my company a nuisance to you? If so, why don’t you say so and I will get out of your hair forever.
Life and social interactions aren’t as straight forward as that. But why not? Why do people make things so complicated. I often fantasize about a utopia of honesty. It’s just a fantasy though, because I’m sure it can never happen. Not only because people are stupid, but there are probably scenarios that led people to socially evolve to the way we are. The prime problematic example I can think of, is desiring and not desiring sex from people. At first, it would seem that if everyone’s honest about who they’d like to fuck, everyone would fuck more and everyone would be happier. The problem lie with the people that others don’t want to fuck. How depressing would that be? Very.