Depressed or Super Depressed

Even the title depresses me. Not because there’s any real reason, it’s because of the word tense. I wanted it to reflect my thought of whether I wanted to make this blog post depressing or super depressing. The one in the title works better as a title but it sounds like it’s describing me, which is kind of true, but I didn’t want it to be so depressing. I guess I don’t want the super depressed, but I’m pretty sure this blog entry will turn out closer to being super depressing.

Tek Tactical had its first release on Thursday morning. After nearly two days, it has 16k views at this point. If people wanted to complete all the achievements in the game, an easy one is to click on the link to my blog. Only about a hundred people out of sixteen thousand has click it so far. That’s a very disappointing number. The number should increase as people play the game more. Oh but I think the view count would increase too so I guess the click through ratio will always remain low.

The next depressing thing is that I totally fucked up the game. I tested the game out for hundreds of hours for a full month, but new bugs arose from the final implementation of ads, which is the most important part of the game because I need to make money off it. Money’s important. Otherwise, I would’ve spent thousands of hours on the computer to please children and that sounds a lot like a pedophile. The part I fucked up is that I didn’t test the game much in its final version for release. I played through a couple stages to make sure everything looks fine, and it certainly looked fine. The game has a ton of features and there was no way I was going through all of it. Heck, even after testing for hundreds of hours, I still haven’t gone through everything once yet. Looks can be deceiving I guess because there was a fatal bug that completely breaks the game. A lot of players experienced a problem where they cannot open the equipment menu. That ruined the entire game. There were a lot of very cool and understanding people but there were also a lot of dickheads. I didn’t care about the dickheads, but I felt really bad for the nice and encouraging people because I couldn’t fix the bug for them right away. I can’t fix what I can’t see. I bet even Jesus couldn’t do that.

I won’t get into any technical detail, but suffice to say the whole thing was a fuckfest. It took me this whole time, nearly two days, to find this stupid bug. … … … I’ve bitched about this so much already to other people and now I feel shitty cause I’m being a repetitive bitch. I’m just going to go ahead and skip all the detail here and say that there were two obstacles that were out of my control. I brilliantly worked my way around both of them, pleased dozens of people, and yet I still feel like shit. …I don’t know if I’m really a needy little bitch or not. I don’t need to be bitching about my feelings, I could survive without doing it, but I’m doing it anyway. I can’t even imagine how annoying it must be for people to read this. If you plan to read ahead, brace yourself for more bitching.

Before releasing Tek, I had predicted the possibility that I won’t get much joy out of people complimenting the game. This shitty prediction turned out to be true. I spent most of the past two days reading all comments and reviews. A lot of people love the game and it’s probably the best thing some of them have ever seen. I won’t pretend like it doesn’t feel good to be praised, but the feelings don’t last at all.

I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to write this entry. It turned out very unfunny and pointless. One reason I wanted to write an entry is to bump out the selfies from the blog’s homepage. I was hoping I’d have something interesting to say along the way but I proved myself wrong. There was one line in this whole entry that I liked. Can you guess which line? That’s my lazy attempt at trying to end this a little more positively. Is that even possible at this point? Umm… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…. I think I’ll reward myself with a little masturbation session after posting this blog. Is that any better? l wonder how many people I just scared away from my blog with this.

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