The following is a compilation of 2 emails I just sent to a friend of mine:
alright, last email of the night. Just gonna be a compilation of a bunch of random little things that each don’t deserve an email and together still doesn’t really deserve an email.
I just watched a huge spider crawl towards my bag. You know the regular spiders we see? It’s like the same type but at least twice the size. Not nightmarishly big but still pretty damn big spider.
At work, some older asian guy randomly walked up to me and said “All the girls are bad… All the indian girls, they’re all bad and do voodoo and stuff.” I just said “uh huh, yeah” LOL so random.
shit I think there was supposed to be 1 more thing but I forget what it is now.
okay I lied but this one should be the actual last email.
In the podcast I listen to, the host plays a game and says this line for a few episodes now “I’m playing for Orange County so if you live in Orange County, you have a dog in this hunt.” For some reason, I wanted to put a twist on that phrase at the end and I came up with “dong in a cunt” I am shamefully proud of what I came up with, lol.
This next little section I was thinking of writing a blog post for but I don’t feel like putting in the quality I usually put in the blogs. Basically, remember our talk about the escort? I think there’s 3 level of context that can be provided and more info doesn’t necessarily make it any less weird lol
Little Context: I sent you an email telling you to email me back with your response after you’ve masturbated. (Hilariously lacking in context)
Some Context: You need to masturbate first to clear your mind because you’re planning to pay for an escort that we’ll be sharing. (I think this sounds even more wrong cause it sounds like we’re planning a threesome)
Full Context: You want to pay for me to test the waters of an escort service in case it’s an undercover cop or something. I told you to masturbate first to clear your mind to make sure you really want to pay for me to have sex. (The full context is actually arguably worse than the lesser contexts)
Remember last time when you were over and you were about to lie on the couch but you asked if I do any freaky shit on the couch? I’ve been thinking about that and truth be told, yes, I’ve masturbated on that couch. But they’re clean masturbation and realistically, a clean naked ass on the couch is much better than farts in the couch. I just thought that that was an interesting comparison.
Last little note, I will be posting the last 2 emails in the blog and I wonder what kind of feedback that’ll bring.