Blindfold Gaming Challenge

This is the video I wrote about yesterday:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtrZo6sVq-Y&feature=youtu.be

Last night, the video was pretty funny in my mind but after rewatching it again today, it’s not as funny as I thought. Maybe I watched it too much or maybe it’s just not that funny. Anyway, hopefully you can find some humor in there and the next few videos will be better. This one was a little under prepared and we just tried to salvage it and put together what we can.

Funny Video Within 24 Hours

I made a funny video with a friend and it’s going to be uploaded within the next 24 hours. I’ll post again when that happens.

 

When I was thinking of a title for this post, I wondered if calling my video funny is arrogant. Funniness is subjective so I can’t really tell people what’s funny or not, can I? Yes I can. The video is objectively a “funny video”. It may not match your sense of humor and you might not laugh at it, but if you can’t recognize that it’s supposed to be a funny video, then there’s something wrong with you. I don’t know if this makes it sound worse because there exists videos that are really unfunny that are “supposed” to be funny.

 

I’ve been around long enough to know I’m pretty funny. I’m probably not hilarious, but I’m definitely at least funny. Sure I’ll tell bad jokes here and there but a good portion of what I intend to be funny, is funny to many people. It’s really uncomfortable to be around people who are truly unfunny but they think they’re funny. How can someone understand so little about humor? It’s so sad sometimes that it really bums me out. Maybe this will better illustrate what I’m trying to say: Most people aren’t so hilarious that I can’t resist laughing, but it’s polite to laugh and they’re funny enough that it’s easy to politely laugh. Some people are so unfunny that I feel uncomfortable laughing politely for them. It’s not that I’m judging their humor, but it’s so unfunny that I almost think they’re deliberately trying to be unfunny, in which case, laughing would not be the appropriate reaction for me to make. But then they proceed to smile, pause, and wait for a reaction as if they did say something funny.

 

Maybe that’s just me overthinking things. I know that when I’m drunk and not thinking and didn’t catch what the other person is saying but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t funny, I just laugh and I don’t feel uncomfortable about it at all.

 

 

I’ve been thinking about doing some stand up comedy again so I recently revisited my notes. I could probably write a blog entry on a lot of those. I should do that some time. I just wrote a chunk and I’ll wrap up this entry by pasting it here:

 

It’s impossible to not feel embarrassed when someone walks in on you while you’re wiping shit off your ass with pants around your ankles. Actually I can take away the wiping shit part. Having pants around your ankle is such an embarrassing state, for so many reasons. First off, your range of motion is inhibited and you’re forced to waddle if you try to walk. Then, your penis is showing. It doesn’t matter what state it’s in, it’s embarrassing. If it’s flaccid, then it’s tiny which is… such a sad sight to see. If it’s erect, then it brings up the question of why it’s erect. I guess it’s not as embarrassing for guys who have those large flaccid hanging dicks. Admittedly, I haven’t seen that many dicks in my life but I have yet to see a large flaccid hanging dick. Until I see one, I don’t actually know if they exist. They’re like mythical creatures to me at this point. For girls, it’s also embarrassing for their naked crotch to be seen. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be embarrassed, but shouldn’t it be less embarrassing because there’s literally nothing there? There’s pubic hair but why should that be more embarrassing than any other body hair? A penis is a weird thing sticking out but a girl’s crotch isn’t really revealing anything unless you look under her. Does it just sound like I don’t understand the human anatomy? I don’t need to see hanging dicks but if any girls want to enlighten me with what the female crotch looks like, I gladly welcome it.

Shit Stories Part X: Where Exactly Is My Asshole?

That is a question I ask myself every time I wipe my ass. I want to know this so that I can clean my asshole more effectively. I know where the crack is, that’s obvious, and I know the 5 inch diameter from which I wipe shit. However, I do not know the exact location of my asshole. I could find out by poking around until my finger goes into me but I don’t really want to do that. But if I don’t want to stick my finger in my ass, how would pinpointing the location of my asshole help me clean it better?

You got it down to 5 inches? Lucky.

You got it down to 5 inches? Lucky.

I haven’t poked around my ass too much but if I were to do it, I think I would need to poke upwards, at around 45 degrees. I think that’s the direction that leads inside me. I would be poking upwards as opposed to poking horizontally because that would just be poking where my vagina would be if I were a girl. It’s weird to analyze and write about (and read about) the finer details of an asshole.

45 degrees. Like this.

45 degrees. Like this.

A lot of guys wouldn’t want anything to poke around their assholes because they fear that it might feel gay to have something go up their ass. I’m actually not afraid of the gay part. In fact, writing this blog is actually giving me an urge to try it out. The main thing that’s stopping me is sanitation (or sanity). I don’t want to use my finger because I don’t want to get shit on it. I don’t know how much shit is in a passive asshole and I’m not about to find out with my own naked finger. I don’t want to use disposable gloves because I’m THAT cheap, even though it’s only a couple cents. And I don’t want to use any of my household tools because it would get tainted for life.

Do you want to borrow the vines from my house?

Do you want to borrow the vines from my house?

…Umm… the more I’m writing about this, the more I’m actually curious about fingering my own ass. I shall give strangers on the internet power over my life. If this entry gets more than 100 likes, I will finger my own ass. If it turns out to be a terrible experience, I will have hilarious new material to write about. Even if I don’t get 100 likes, I would probably do it if I read a very convincing testimony. If it turns out that I like it and I don’t have anything funny to say, well, you will have made my shitty life a little better… and gayer. It’s a win-win.

You should try two fingers.

You should try two fingers.

Emails On Many Topics

The following is a compilation of 2 emails I just sent to a friend of mine:

alright, last email of the night. Just gonna be a compilation of a bunch of random little things that each don’t deserve an email and together still doesn’t really deserve an email.

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/OPcMFiv.jpg


I just watched a huge spider crawl towards my bag. You know the regular spiders we see? It’s like the same type but at least twice the size. Not nightmarishly big but still pretty damn big spider.

At work, some older asian guy randomly walked up to me and said “All the girls are bad… All the indian girls, they’re all bad and do voodoo and stuff.” I just said “uh huh, yeah” LOL so random.

shit I think there was supposed to be 1 more thing but I forget what it is now.

okay I lied but this one should be the actual last email.

In the podcast I listen to, the host plays a game and says this line for a few episodes now “I’m playing for Orange County so if you live in Orange County, you have a dog in this hunt.” For some reason, I wanted to put a twist on that phrase at the end and I came up with “dong in a cunt” I am shamefully proud of what I came up with, lol.

This next little section I was thinking of writing a blog post for but I don’t feel like putting in the quality I usually put in the blogs. Basically, remember our talk about the escort? I think there’s 3 level of context that can be provided and more info doesn’t necessarily make it any less weird lol

Little Context: I sent you an email telling you to email me back with your response after you’ve masturbated. (Hilariously lacking in context)

Some Context: You need to masturbate first to clear your mind because you’re planning to pay for an escort that we’ll be sharing. (I think this sounds even more wrong cause it sounds like we’re planning a threesome)

Full Context: You want to pay for me to test the waters of an escort service in case it’s an undercover cop or something. I told you to masturbate first to clear your mind to make sure you really want to pay for me to have sex. (The full context is actually arguably worse than the lesser contexts)

Remember last time when you were over and you were about to lie on the couch but you asked if I do any freaky shit on the couch? I’ve been thinking about that and truth be told, yes, I’ve masturbated on that couch. But they’re clean masturbation and realistically, a clean naked ass on the couch is much better than farts in the couch. I just thought that that was an interesting comparison.

Last little note, I will be posting the last 2 emails in the blog and I wonder what kind of feedback that’ll bring.