Why Men Pee In The Shower And Women Don’t

 

It’s very normal for men to pee in the shower and it’s also very normal for women to be disgusted by it. But why are women so disgusted by it? Is it because they’re more hygienic? Nope. I don’t know why but I spent some time thinking about this and I now have the answer.

Peeing in the shower is very hygienic… for men. If anything, it’s even cleaner than using a toilet. It also takes less effort because you don’t have to hold down your pants or aim as much. There’s no reason not to do it. For women, however, peeing in the shower is very different. Due to the location of their urinary organ, if they simply start peeing while they’re showering, the urine will go all over their leg and feet. If a woman wanted to pee in the shower without peeing on herself, she would have to put a foot up against a wall and pee sideways and that’s just not practical.

There are probably men out there who pee messily in the shower but most of the time, it’s fine, so women shouldn’t judge men so harshly for doing it. I have solved the mystery of different gender perception of peeing in the shower. Why I decided to think about peeing in the shower with a vagina is the new mystery I shall someday solve.

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SFT Podcast Episode 43 – First Time Excretions With Justin

We spent a lot of time talking about first times with pissing, shitting, masturbating, you name it.

Dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/s/n4063xhuydgvglv/SFT-0043-First_Time_Excretions_With_Justin.mp3

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-wrFEM1lsk

If the above link doesn’t work, you should always check here (https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/where-to-download-sad-funny-truthful-podcast/) for the updated links to download the podcast. I will also provide the link to download all the episodes there and it might even have newer and better links.

Sponsor:

koncepp.com

Web hosting starting at $5 a month. You might get more discount if you mention this podcast. I don’t know. I don’t really care anymore lol.

Shit Stories Part IX: Shit Adjacent and Tangent Stories

Foreword: In this entry, I didn’t transition between my thoughts very well. All these thoughts are interesting, tangental, and related so I want to keep them all together. But at the same time, I don’t want to clog it up with more sentences just for the sake of transitioning between thoughts without adding any additional content. …Okay, that was a lie, I’m just too lazy to put in the time to turn this shit story into a masterfully written shit story. Plus, I didn’t get any sleep and wrote about shit all night while having chocolate milk diarrhea so give me a break, alright?

Am I dozing off or just staring at my boobs? Why not both? Oh shit, I stole Ted's line.

Am I dozing off or just staring at my boobs? Why not both? Oh shit, I stole Ted’s line.

Some of you might wonder what the heck “shit adjacent” even means. I don’t mean it literally because the story doesn’t involve me standing next to a piece of shit or anything. In fact, there’s no actual shit in the story. It’s like when you’re taking a shit and you’re mentally prepared for shit to appear but you can’t push anything out. That is the analogy I have chosen. I chose a shitting analogy to describe my shit story. Actually, it’s not even an analogy because that’s basically the whole story, told in the guise of an analogy.

I am also shit adjacent.

I am also shit adjacent.

As a guy, I follow the convention that I should pee standing up. So when I falsely think that I need to shit and I’m s(h)itting but nothing comes out, I have to try really hard to squeeze some shit out and if nothing comes out in the end, I feel a bit of shame for having peed sitting down. That is some fucked up retarded emotions. I know that intellectually but it doesn’t stop me from feeling this way. Feelings are so gay. And by gay, I mean retarded. Which one is more offensive? “Why not write both?” – me. (…Everything I write is in my word so I wonder why I bothered quoting myself…)

And I'm ashamed of peeing while standing. Wait. Why am I taking a picture of this?

And I’m ashamed of peeing while standing. Wait. Why am I taking a picture of this?

That last section is interesting to me. I’m obviously aware that I am potentially offending a lot of people but I wrote it anyway. Why? Because it’s funny to me. I only wrote it because I found it funny and I chose not to censor my comedy. But what makes it so funny? It’s funny because of how easily I can offend so many groups of people. If people didn’t get offended by this stuff, it wouldn’t have been funny to me and I wouldn’t have written it, thus, not having created anything for them to be offended by. Ironically, it’s because they DO get offended that there’s more of this stuff to offend them.

Let me put on my "nerd" glasses and smile and pretend I understood what you just read.

Let me put on my “nerd” glasses and smile and pretend I understood what you just read.

Girls living with guys often complain about them not putting the seat back down. I wonder why I never hear complaints about guys not lifting the seats up at all and peeing all over the seat. There’s no way this never happened. I guess people just generally don’t talk about shit and piss as casually as I do. Where’s our thanks for not peeing all over the seat? Even if we end up peeing all over the floor, at least you’re not sitting in our urine. I also never hear guys complaining about girls always leaving the seat down. Mathematically speaking, the guy would’ve lifted the seat up as many times as the girl had to put the seat down. She may complain about having accidentally sat in the bowl with no seat, maybe even touching some CLEAN toilet water, but that’s not the same as peeing on the seat (because our urethra is set to shower setting) and having to clean up the urine. You also never hear about a guy who sat in the bowl without the seat. It would seem that guys are conditioned to always check the seat status with every toilet visit where girls have a problem of assuming it’s down.

Stop complaining about the seat you guys. Do you want to pee in snow instead?

Stop complaining about the seat you guys. Do you want to pee in snow instead?

So many hypothetical girlfriends have left me for being thoughtless and counter nagging them. It’s thoughts like these that keep me in the single and virgin statuses. To continue counter nagging my hypothetical girlfriend, I’m actually not thoughtless at all as evidenced by the amount of thought put into this blog.

 I'm one of those hypothetical girlfriends. I'm so hypothetical that I don't even have a head.


I’m one of those hypothetical girlfriends. I’m so hypothetical that I don’t even have a head.

Shit Stories Part VII: Chocolate Milk Diarrhea

Before I get to the asshole hair story, I’d like to update you on my chocolate milk diarrhea situation. As I predicted, there was more to come and it was knocking very impatiently on my asshole door as I was posting part VI. Fortunately, everything worked out and I don’t have a new disgusting shit story to write about. (Hmm… maybe it was a misfortune that I didn’t shit my pants.) In an earlier Shit Story, I had written about how some of my shits are very urgent and I barely make my way from my room to the washroom. I spend most of my life being unemployed and I had wondered if my impatient diarrhea would render me unfit to work. Since I’ve had so much time to think about shit on the shitter in the past hour, I now realize that I don’t have bowel problems at work because I don’t retardedly drink entire cartons of chocolate milk while I’m working.

I know how you feel. I just had a close call too.

I know how you feel. I just had a close call too.

The diarrhea that came out of me just now was very watery. I remember the first time I had watery diarrhea. As a young boy, I knew that girls don’t have dicks but I didn’t know what a vagina was yet so I just assumed girls pee from their assholes. Since the watery diarrhea feels a lot like peeing, I thought I had become a girl. I actually checked to see if my dick was still there. Once I felt my own dick, I was relieved that I hadn’t turned girl. That’s what childhood was for me apparently.

Wtf are you reading...

Wtf are you reading…

Shit Stories Part III

Let’s talk about the last time I soiled my pants. The last time that I had shit in my pants was when I was ten years old at the CN Tower (tourist attraction in Toronto). I actually don’t remember too much about that day. It would appear to be a repressed memory but it wasn’t THAT bad as far as I could remember. There was definitely shit, but not a lot. It was during lunch and I had to go to the washroom to clear the situation. I remember feeling a lot of shame because I felt I was too old to be shitting myself, especially in public. I don’t remember much else.

Are you hiding anything embarrassing? Are you sure you were ten?

Are you hiding anything embarrassing? Are you sure you were ten?

However, I can remember the last time I pissed my pants in full detail. I was six years old and it was a bed wetting incident. I blamed it to having drank a cup of water before bed and for a decade after, I would never drink anything within two hours before going to bed. I vividly remember the dream I had that night. In the dream, I was in a public washroom with four urinals. I was the only one there and decided to make a game out of it and pee in each urinal equally. I would pee in the first urinal for two seconds, stop, turn to the second urinal and pee in that for two seconds and so on. After the third urinal, I woke up and realized that I was actually peeing in real life too. I wonder if I was also peeing in two second bursts in real life. Since then, every time I’ve had a dream where I was peeing, I would wake up instantly and check if I’ve peed myself again. I was always surprised and relieved to find that I was dry. In a sense, I am a little disappointed that the two theories I developed at six years old about bed wetting (the pee dream and the water) have both been debunked.

I'm not hiding anything under these sheets.

I’m not hiding anything under these sheets.

For those who don’t know, I am an unemployed bum adult man-child. I’m pretty much at home 24/7. On several occasions, I’ve gone through the experience of being fine one minute and then urgently needing to shit the next minute so badly that I barely made it to the toilet before shit bursted out of me. I only had to walk 12 steps of the washroom and I always wonder if I weren’t home during these times, would I have shit myself in public?

Yes. Yes you would have.

Yes. Yes you would have.