My Mom Vs. Normal Part I

I always bitch about how my parents annoy me and on a few rare occasions, I wonder if I’m the one at fault. Maybe I’m just easily annoyed and they’re not actually that annoying. But then they brilliantly come in and prove me wrong. There are many ambiguous situations where it seems like I’m pissed at them for asking a perfectly normal question, but upon closer inspection, it wasn’t asked quite so perfectly normal(ly? this sounds weird… oh well).

To the untrained eye, I might seem like the bad guy but people who have annoying people in their lives will understand me. You have to bear in mind that my mom is constantly so annoying and that there are no existing pleasant experiences with her. Even if it’s not THAT bad, she overwhelms me with quantity. If you don’t have someone like that in your life, you simply won’t understand. You can’t just imagine yourself in that position because human imagination sucks. You just can’t understand just like how I would never understand what it’s like to be a black person. I’ll never know what it’s like to have a big dick, dance well, and see floating eyes and teeth in the mirror at night.

So I volunteered to drive my brother from the airport tomorrow and my mom annoyingly asked me if I’ve set up a meeting with him yet… and I got annoyed. Let’s analyze what my mom just did and how a normal person should’ve done it. First of all, if she trusts me, I shouldn’t even be questioned at all. Sure, it would be okay to give me a passing reminder but the key words are “passing” and “reminder”. What my mom did was a failed attempt at firm interrogation. A normal person might just ask if I remember about tomorrow and I’ll say “yup” and that’s the end of a normal pleasant conversation. The person reminding me knows that it’s a reminder and that it’s a brief conversation, so she would probably be doing something else or just walking past. Of course, my mom did the complete opposite. She walked into my room, planted herself next to me, and asked if I’ve told my brother that I’m driving him yet. The wording is so negatively presumptuous. She assumes that there’s even a delay between my volunteering and updating my brother on the information. Annoyed, I just grunted “yeah” and that COULD have been the end of a not so pleasant, but not terrible, exchange of words. But then she goes on and asks if I’ve discussed where to meet him yet. Really? I need HER help to do this? Bear in mind that I’m a very self sufficient person who can do everything on my own and never fails and never asks for help. Meanwhile, she’s a publicly stupid person who fears doing stuff she’s unfamiliar with and asks for help all the time. I don’t need any help and I did, she wouldn’t be helpful anyway.

To back myself up even more, my aunt once asked my mom to pick her up at the airport and my mom said no because she doesn’t know how to drive to the airport. She genuinely believed that was a legit excuse and had no ill intentions but it was stupid nonetheless. Nobody’s born knowing how to drive to the airport. The question is whether the person is worth learning to drive to the airport for and my mom’s response was no.

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