In previous entries, I have not been shy to say that my mom asks retarded questions. Sometimes the questions are just plain stupid. Sometimes it’s the conditions surrounding the question that’s stupid. Sometimes she’s just stupid with the way she asks the questions.
And sometimes, I just like to block the stairway for no reason whatsoever.
I feel sorry for some of the questions a cousin of mine had to endure. He’s an academic and my mom’s an idiot and these are two of the many stupid questions she asked him:
“When people sleep on the ground, the ground energy drains them of their life energy and they’ll be more prone to sickness like cancer and stuff. Can you use science to help me explain that?”
“Have there been scientific research that tell us why people with longer arm hair are more intelligent? No? So science isn’t good enough to prove that?”
According to my research, my science can’t prove that I’m the prettiest girl in the world. Omg, science can’t do anything. Science sucks!
Like the questions above, sometimes she just has her mind set and she doesn’t even listen anymore but she’s still asking questions and wanting answers.
“Ted, do you want to move the desk from the basement for you to use? You don’t want to use it? Let’s move the desk tonight, okay?”
What’s that? You’re trying to quit porn? Well I’m just going to pose nude for you anyway, okay?
Because of all the stupidity surrounding the questions, I’ve grown to ignore her a lot of times. Before you start thinking that I’m mean, know that she’s asking for it a lot of the times. How does a person “ask” to be ignored? I’ll tell you how. There are times when my mom would ask me a question and then immediately leave the house to get the mail or something. Come back, ask the question again, and leave the fuckin’ house again. She once chained 3 of these in a combo.
3 combo. What are we comboing? Who cares.
Another time, she asked me a question while I was brushing my teeth. Is she not aware that I can’t talk while I’m brushing? Sure, if it were an urgent question, I could stop to answer. But it wasn’t an urgent question; it was a stupid question. It was 3 in the afternoon and she asked if I was brushing my teeth because I just woke up or if I’m about to sleep. The answer was neither. I was just brushing because I ate some sweets. Oh, and not only did she ask a question while I was physically unable to answer, she also left the room right after asking.
Send me an email if you want me to come over to your house right now. …Oh I’m not getting emails so I guess I’ll just go put my clothes back on.
By the way, I made none of this up. Everything I just wrote about has happened. Most of these things have happened more than once. Why would something so specifically stupid be repeated? I don’t know, but anything’s fair game at this point. It may be rude for me to ignore my mom all the time, but you can’t really blame me, can you? And maybe she asks questions in ways that I can’t respond because she already expects me to ignore the questions. I wonder which came first, the chicken or the egg, the CHeCKEd out mind or the EGGnorance. Wow, that HAS to be the most terrible and forced pun in history. I apologize for that.
I’m so embarrassed I have to hide my face in a hat. You can still enjoy my boobs though.