Used and Tossed Aside

That’s how I feel right now. I sort of regret telling my story to a couple people because now I don’t feel like retelling the story again due to my dislike of repetition. In a number of previous posts, I prefaced stories by saying that I was living at my aunt’s house. I won’t be needing that preface anymore because I’m no longer living there. Over the past month, my aunt kept calling me her son and calling her daughters my sisters. My aunt had wanted to “save” me from my parents by providing me with a better environment to live in but of no choice of my own, I’m back living with my parents. Good fucking job.

The official reason I was living with my aunt was to help her take care of her dying husband. I helped take care of the guy; I’ve moved their bed up and down the stairs; I’ve done more than my share of cleaning; shoveled a shitload of snow (for 3 fucking houses: my aunt’s, her daughter’s, and my parents’); performed handiwork; made a 277 picture slideshow where half the pictures needed to be scanned; got two friends in addition to myself to be pallbearers and carried the casket to the grave, and I get sent back home before the day ends.

I know I’m putting a bad spin on the situation but it’s hard to see the good side of things. I can identify 3 main sources at work here. First, her three daughters have gathered back home and they’re keeping the house lively. They’re rather noisy and bitchy for my taste and as a result, I’ve put in less effort holding back my depression in the past couple days. I still responded when spoken to (I responded fairly pleasantly and with some decent jokes in there too) but I had an overall lack of life in the way I moved and stared into space. Still, I wasn’t a drag because I’ve been completely busy with doing work for them. If two days of seeing the tip of the iceberg of my depression was too much, it was retarded for her to think she could help me at all.

I will give my aunt the benefit of the doubt and say that the third reason is the main reason I was kicked out. Should we euphemize it by saying I was “moved back home”? The third reason is my mom. She called and kept telling my aunt that she and my dad misses me and wants me back home. Then with me, she tells me to go home to give my aunt and cousins some private time to mourn. I didn’t give a shit about my mom’s stupid information-withholding games and I just told my aunt what she told me. My aunt does this annoying thing that a lot of stupid people do. She’ll state her opinions very strongly but in the face of other people’s opinions, she’ll change her original opinion very easily. Changing your mind is fine, but if you do, then don’t be so fucking sure of your original thoughts because they’re wrong. In an attempt to appease the most people, she suggested I go back home and move back in on Tuesday (The day of eviction was Friday). Sure, go ahead and appease everyone except Ted because Ted doesn’t matter. He doesn’t bitch like everyone else so he obviously doesn’t have feelings. If sending me back home was for my parents’ sake, then that’s still stupid. The whole point of living at her place was to get me away from my parents. My life isn’t just a “let’s raise a son” game for her.

I don’t think I’ll be going back on Tuesday. I’m not doing that because of spite. Her home was no improvement from mine and I’m tired of moving my computer around. I was actually reluctant to move in at first because I knew it wasn’t going to do shit for my depression and I didn’t want to drag more people down by being around them when I’m depressed. I knew better so I resisted moving in, but other relatives from the sidelines kept bitching that I should do it and that I’m not even trying to improve my depression. Nobody ever takes my opinions seriously and isn’t it amazing how everything turned out exactly as I predicted? Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

SFT Podcast Episode 37 – Family Rants And Quitting 50

In this episode, you’ll get to hear me rant about my aunt and cousins and listen to me read chapter 2 of 50 Shades of Grey, get sick of it, and decide that I will no longer read that shit.



If the above link doesn’t work, you should always check here ( for the updated links to download the podcast. I will also provide the link to download all the episodes there and it might even have newer and better links.


Web hosting starting at $5 a month. You might get more discount if you mention this podcast. I don’t know. I don’t really care anymore lol.

Political Responsibility is Not a Thing

The government is a big confusing mess that takes forever to make little changes and they screw up a lot of things. But they also get a lot of things right. There are people who preach that everyone has the responsibility to improve the system because it affects everyone. No. We don’t have that responsibility. Is it unfair that the lot of us just leave it to the few who are trying really hard to maintain and improve things? Not at all. They chose to do it. If they don’t do it, someone else will. When things get out of hand, more people will naturally join in. They don’t need to recruit unwilling participants.

There are people who spend a lot of time trying to figure out the system to improve it and if it’s so hard for them, that’s all the more reason for me not to get involved. I don’t need to know how everything works as long as I only get screwed to a tolerable degree. We all get screwed and a little screwing isn’t going to killing anyone. Everybody uses computers but 99% of the people have no idea how it works and even amongst people who have a fair idea of how it works, 98% of them have no idea how to fix things. The government is just like computers. Everyone interacts with it but they don’t need to know how it works. If it’s broken, someone else will fix it. Heck, most people don’t even know how their own bodies work. We don’t need to know how our assholes expand to excrete shit as long as we can get it to work. When it’s broken, the doctors will fix it. The government is just like our assholes.

Attack Of The Norms

This is my first blog update I’m making on a new computer and on a new internet connection. Did Ted finally get his shit together and move out of his parents’ house? Nope. I’ve historically blogged more about gays, retards, and shit than I blog about my day to day life. That will not change but I will be briefly summing up a few biggish life updates in this first paragraph. I haven’t updated this blog in a little while because I’ve been feeling like shit and when I’m finally writing a bit again, my mom just came in nagging me about mundane shit. Yesterday she just bitched about the taxes which is still going on but just now she bitched about being confused by the inconsistent pay cheques I’ve gotten and wanted to find out more, by nagging means necessary. (Yes that was a stupid pun.) I can’t even not give a fuck about shit because my mom cares but lacks the means to care without my help. This specific incident is caused by the fact that my mom’s name is on my bank accounts and vice versa. Is it because I’m such a useless person that I can’t even get my own bank account? No. …Well, yes, but not entirely. The main reason is because of my mom’s retarded death scares and saying that if one person dies, the others need to take money out right away to avoid the money from being locked down by the bank. I don’t give a shit so I just play along because it gets her to shut up quicker but now this shit is all coming back to bite me in the ass. The shit is returning to my ass. (Yes, I’m forcing another stupid pun.) I’ve since quit my part time minimum wage job, felt shitty, bought a top notch overclocked computer with 3D monitor, did nothing with it, and felt shitty again about not even bothering to use it much. I want to want to play games [sic] but I simply can’t seem to get interested in anything. I also retardedly chose to switch to dsl internet instead of cable (which is faster and cheaper) purely due to lack of research. There’s another reason to feel shitty as if I wasn’t feeling shitty enough already.

That first paragraph was supposed to be brief but now it’s gotten pretty big and clunky with the whole mom rant, just like my life. During these past weeks, I’ve thought of writing a multi-part entry called Shit Stories which would literally be stories about shit. I don’t care for the shit itself, but I usually find the stories surrounding the shit to be interesting. I have some stories in mind but I’ve become too lazy to write it up. If anyone wants to read about them, leave a comment and let me know so I’ll try harder to write that shit up.

Finally, this last little bit is all I originally intended to write, the only part that the title actually reflects. There are a number of retarded social norms that make no sense and are so stupid and annoying and people who perpetuate them are so stupid and annoying. I heard one recently that trying shoe laces with 2 loops is the girly way and guys are supposed to tie with one loop. That is so retarded and makes no sense. Then there’s the dumb ear thing where a guy is gay if he pierces only his left ear or right ear or whichever the fuck the stupid rule is. These damn stupid conventions makes no sense whatsoever. Because of these ridiculous rules, people would mislabel me just because I pierce the wrong ear, or wear “girly” colored clothes, or tie my shoe the wrong way, or say that I want to put a bunch of tiny dicks in my mouth. That’s all it takes for people to call me a faggot… or a pedophile… Damn presumptuous rules…

So This Just Happened…

I don’t know if followers get email notifications for each new post I make. If so, I apologize for posting 3 entries in a row. Actually I don’t really feel sorry but I felt like it was the right thing to write. Anyway, here’s a shitty snippet from my life of something that just happened:

I’m buying a computer from a friend and my dad wanders into the room and was randomly cocky and condescending in asking me about the computer. He asked if my friend is charging me more than retail. That is the dumbest ass question a person can ask. What kind of response does he expect? “Oh shit I forgot to take that into consideration. Thanks for saving me a ton of money!” No.

I didn’t need to respond to that and then he continued interrogating me. Keep in mind that he’s a computer illiterate person who only uses computers to check emails. He asks if it’s faster than his computer and if it’s an hp or dell computer. I told him it was custom built. After hearing my answer, my dad got pissed and stormed out of the room. Yes, this is the kind of random bullshit I have to live with. Expounding the situation only makes it sound more retarded. My dad probably got pissed because he felt dumb and couldn’t sustain his unjustified cockiness. Why the fuck would a person even feel smart for naming hp and dell brands?

Bullshit Parents

Every time I complained about my parents in the blog so far, I titled it rant or complaint but I think “Bullshit Parents” might become another multi part entry. I keep trying to think of how to justify myself to people who might write me off as the bad guy but fuck it. I’m just going to start bitching.

Yesterday morning, at 4am, my mom tells me I need to call the government again to follow up on the tax fiasco that needs fixing. I mentioned this story before and I had said that I’m not going to write about it because it’s boring and I will continue to not write about it. Suffice to say, there was an error somewhere between the bank and government and I’m the one who ends up suffering. I’ve already sent all required documents to fix it and they’re taking their time to do it over months. So at 4am, my mom bitched at me to tell me to call them again to follow up. I keep telling her that there’s nothing to follow up on. The last time I called, they just said someone else is still currently working on it and all I can do is wait. My mom thinks that nagging gets results, both with me and the government but I prove her wrong in both instances. She says I need to find the name of the person working on it and keep following up so they work on it faster aka nag them to death. There was a lot of yelling and screaming about this bullshit. I try to explain to her how it’s completely pointless and even if I know Obama’s the one responsible doing something, if I can’t reach him, I’m just barking up the wrong tree. And guess how she responds? “Oh Baba’s the name of the person responsible? Let me write down that name (and have you call her)” I repeat fuckin’ Obama and she still doesn’t get it. I explain that it’s an example and she’s a dumbass for not getting it. She responds “I didn’t know you were out to trick me.” What the fuck… How do you talk to retards? I wouldn’t know. There was a lot more of this stupid shit but they don’t transcribe well to writing (neither does whatever the fuck I just wrote).

Now this morning, just now, my dad asks me for the 4th time if I’ve checked the route to the casino where he’ll be bringing my aunt to, 4 months from now. The first time he asked, I was going to just fuckin’ do this pointlessness because it takes seconds to do but he told me not to do it because it’s still months away. Yet he insists on asking me to do it 3 more times, but at the same time telling me not to do it yet. “Ted should do it when it’s convenient” is probably what he’s thinking but the whole thing is a fuckin’ inconvenience. Normally, I literally don’t respond to my parents but this morning, I stupidly decided to respond and told him that it takes seconds to do so there’s no need to do it months in advance. Just tell me when you need it. Sure I was irritated. Who wouldn’t be? Then he says “Hah, I got you to reveal your true colors you irritable and hot tempered person.” He continues to say that I am autistic and can’t function in society and that I should be nicer to him because he’s already as good to me as can be. Right… a dad who frames me as autistic and provokes me for no reason is as good as can be. What a great way to kick off mother’s day weekend. I think I ranted for the past two weekends too. Every weekend starts this fuckin’ way…

Rant and Wonder

It seems that every so often I decide that I get a little fed up with my parents’ bullshit and I vent about it online. This is another one of those times. About a year ago, I started listening to a lot of podcasts and nowadays, I listen to it on my psp. My hearing is adequate but I wish the psp could go a little louder because sometimes when there are other noises around me, I miss a word or two. It’s audible, but it’s not loud by any measure of the word. Three times now, my dad has wandered towards me and asked me why I have to listen to my things so loudly. Apparently, barely audible is too loud. Then I put my headphones on and my mom nags that I shouldn’t always wear headphones because it’ll make my deaf. Groundless non-fact babbled at me that completely contradicts what the other parent just said. And somehow, they actually don’t realize their own fucked up parenting. Either that, or they notice it but they try to ignore it and not address it because they know they are bad parents and they’re not trying to change that. Not long after, my dad would tell me to cheer up and not be so frustrated with myself and that I’m the only one annoying myself. There are clearly two external forces actively annoying me and yet I don’t know how he’s completely blind to it.

I’m forced to ignore all these retardedness because telling them would accomplish nothing. No wait, I take that back. Telling them off would actually accomplish giving them a reason to hate me and kick me out of the house and I’m not necessarily ready to be homeless or catalyze my prison plan yet. I’ve long since mentally prepared myself for homelessness and come to terms to it, as much as any sane, first-world person can, but I don’t want to actively trigger the event.

Now you might wonder what the “wonder” part of the title refers to. I was playing Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Tenkaichi and just fought Racoome. Racoome is kind of a retard but I just noticed that he’s also kind of flamboyantly gay. That’s when I started wondering about the existence of people who are gay AND retarded. I don’t think I’ve seen any, but they’re bound to exist. People (like me) often make fun of gay people and people (like me) often make fun of retarded people but I don’t think we combine them often enough. Obviously, I recognize that what I just wrote sounds kind of wrong, but it only sounds wrong and isn’t actually very wrong. Louis CK says it very well in this clip: I think that’s from his special Shameless and it’s really funny and I can’t recommend highly enough for you to watch it. If you get any enjoyment out of reading my writing, you must watch that one minute clip because he says it so well. Even if you don’t enjoy my writing, you should watch it anyway because Louis CK is better than me; his fame and fortune and my lack of fame and fortune is evidence of that. We make fun of gay people not because of their homosexuality, but because of their abnormal flamboyant behavior. We don’t make fun of the sex at all because that’s not funny. It’s kind of gross. Actually, all sex is pretty gross. Same with retards. We don’t make fun of them because of their disability. We make fun of their retarded behaviors which happens to be caused by their disability. We don’t make fun of the difficulty they have adjusting to life because that’s not funny. It’s sad. I guess their inability to adjust to social protocol is part of the difficulty they experience…

Hmm… I think I’ve just sorted my thoughts on making fun of people who are different. It’s wrong to bully them and make their lives hard, but it’s okay to make fun of them behind their backs. And I say this as an asian man who has lots of non-asian friends who make fun of my asian-ness behind my back but I’m fine with it as long as I don’t hear it. And I know that these things go on behind my back because I actually have a recording of it. One of my friends stupidly thought it would be funny for me to hear it so he sent it to me. It wasn’t funny (for me…).  But we’re still great friends and the racist recording did not affect that at all.