I don’t always take selfies, but when I do, well, I do an okay job I guess. I’m gonna crop one of these and use it as my new avatar. …Oh, I just thought of a way to end that first sentence: I don’t always take selfies, but when I do, I blog about it! Anyway, time for me to criticize the shit out of my selfies. Feel free to join in.

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– Freaking purple ipad case.

– Freaking balloons.

– There’s a weird round pink puffy doll in the background. I’m in a house of 3 girl cousins…

– Flipped flip-flops!

– Lots of prescription drugs in the background…

– Aaaannnd of course, there’s me, being my overweight self. I think I’m a pretty skinny looking for an overweight guy. But then I think my sense of fat people is skewed ever since I became fat. Trust me, I’m fat. I know I don’t have body dysmorphia. I know exactly what I’m talking about. At my fittest and strongest, I weighed in at 145 lbs and I could still trim down. At that point, I was bench-pressing 245 lbs. As a point of reference, mediocrely fit people bench-press their own weight. I just weighed myself at the hospital today for fun after not weighing myself for years and I currently weigh 183 lbs. That’s freaking at least 40 lbs of pure fat over my ideal weight! I just need some motivation and a girl to want to fuck me and I’ll get back into awesome shape. It may seem like backwards logic because why would girls want to fuck me when I’m fat and shitty? Well, girls didn’t want to fuck me when I was fit either. Maybe they did want to fuck me but I was never told and I’m too socially stupid to know otherwise.