Sexual Favor Requests

Yesterday, I asked another girl on facebook for a sexual favor and she seems pretty offended. So far, 3/5 girls I asked have gotten clearly offended. The other 2 might’ve been offended too, but they were at least able to maintain composure (all of this is on facebook). It baffles me. Why get offended? If I made a physical advance, then that’s legit reason to get offended, but I didn’t. Asking is as respectable as possible. What, am I supposed to pretend they’re not girls and I don’t have hormones? I find THAT offensive, to pretend like we’re above our biochemical bodies.

Now, I’m not completely ignorant on why it’s offensive. The main argument is that I’m objectifying them or some shit like that. It’s a stupid argument. Human bodies are objects, so I’m not objectifying anything, I’m just not following the delusional trend to pretend like it’s more sacred than it is. This doesn’t mean I’m a psychopath because I do respect people and their consciousness. That’s why I ask for permission instead of making rape-y presumptions. I get denied permission, and I respect that. I don’t question it any further. So why get offended? There’s no rational reason for that.

The other possible argument is that I don’t value our friendship. … What friendship? The term “friends” gets tosses around way too lightly. I think people should start using the term “familiars” because that’s what most people are to me. We’ve seen each other several times, we’re nice and friendly with each other and we have the potential to become friends, but we’re not. Even if we were friends at one point, after not talking or seeing each other for several years, the relationship would have dropped to being familiars. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is what it is.

I also wonder if there are misconceptions when I ask for these sexual favors. If these girls think that I’m asking for free prostitution, then sure, it might not be nice, but they should clarify that with me because that’s not what I’m asking for. But these girls are so uncomfortable by this point that I never get to elaborate. I’m just a depressed and lonely guy who wants a bit of physical contact, mostly in the form of hugs and cuddles (and maybe some boob action), and form a relationship with someone. I’m a nice and generous person but I have no one to be nice and generous to, and that breaks my heart as a utilitarian to see it go to waste. Relationship is a weird word too. I use that word in the broadest sense which encompasses but is not limited to what we normally define as relationships.

Look, I’m a decent looking guy and that’s going to be wasted because I’m just going to continue getting old and get less attractive. When I ask these sexual favors, I’m hoping to develop a mutually beneficial relationship. I guess it doesn’t work though because girls already pretty much get to fuck anyone anytime they want.

I wrestle with this a lot. I’m not exactly suicidal, but I’ve pretty much got no will to live and nothing to live for. I generally try not to make other people depressed. Because I’m already depressed and it’s pretty contagious, I cut myself off from other people which eventually makes me more depressed. I think girls underestimate the power of their boobs. I’m a strong young man with lots of potential and I’m completely enslaved to boobs. If I die, my life and potential would be wasted. Boobs can grant me life. A constant supply of boobs can get me to do anything. And it’s so taunting because they’re everywhere. Boobs…

For several months, I thought I had my sexual urges suppressed pretty well but it’s randomly emerging again. Tack that on my already depressed and loner lifestyle makes life very irritating for me. Enough ranting… I guess I’ll just go and burn the rest of my bridges. I’d generally like to think that I’m a good person, but then I go around spreading these bad vibes… at Christmas… I guess that makes me a dirty little yellow chinese grinch.

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Sexual Desire to Live

I don’t know why I make these weird titles because I don’t even like them. They’re like 1% clever but that’s exactly what it is. 1% is a horrible fail. It’s retard level…

Anyway, this one’s about sexual desire and the desire to live. Most guys I know go crazy for girls and it looks kinda pathetic to me, to the point that it pisses me off. It’s not that I don’t understand horniness because believe me, I do. It’s people’s inability to control it that bothers me. Why do most people have so little control of it? When I go to the bank and see people handling a wad of money, of course I’d like to have that in my hands but that doesn’t mean I’m going to steal it. Most men can resist the money and yet they can’t resist the pussy.

 

If I didn’t perform …physical maintenance on my body as often as I do, I’m sure I’d be crazy for pussy too. But because I can achieve self satisfaction, I don’t see what all the fuss over puss is all about. I just woke up from a weird dream and it’s interesting to see myself do what I preach… or I guess I’m just imagining what I preach since it’s just a dream. The dream starts off with me hiding out in a building, not being able to sleep because a war is starting the next day. It felt like a zombie-esque environment, where people band together and barricade in buildings except we were fighting off soldiers instead of zombies. Eventually, I’m in a group with a number of girls. I was sitting in a swivelling computer chair and the girls walk past me in the nude, about to take a shower. For some reason, them walking past me in the nude was socially natural (in the dream) but I reached out to squeeze a boob as they pass me and I immediately apologized for being inappropriate. The girl told me I didn’t need to be sorry and that it was reassuring to her that she was still desirable. So I continued to squeeze their boobs as they walked past me, all 3 of the girls. After they’ve passed, I jerked off with that hand and resumed defending my position.

 

“What the fuck did I just read?” is probably what most of you are thinking. Look, it was a dream and certain things don’t always make sense. What was the point of this? Just the fact that even in my dreams, I was happy enough with masturbation that sex wasn’t necessary. I’m not saying sex is bad. If you have a stable partner to do it with, go and have all the fun you want; why the heck are you even reading this crap? I’m just annoyed at people who make it their life’s work to chase pussy down. In the dream, I even made a speech that the girls should make it their top priority not to have vaginal intercourse with the guys. They can fool around all they want, but getting pregnant would be a major inconvenience when we’re under attack and need to escape. If they don’t mind getting left behind, then go and have sex. As a person lacking a desire to live, I can understand the notion of not minding getting left behind, but I just felt like I needed to warn them about what they would be getting themselves into.

 

Okay, I should stop talking about this stupid dream now. Ultimately, I find that I have a less vaginal-sexual desire than most men. Sure I’ve got hormones but there are much more efficient ways to deal with them. As a person with more control of himself, it’s sad to see other people run around on their chases. But am I any better? Probably not. I’m probably far worse off. I am controlling my sexual desires as much as I control my desire to live comfortably and my desire to live altogether. Most people would look at my apathetic ways and I’d be the pathetic looking one. I’m just going in circles now… The only conclusion out of all this is that I don’t like people and I have weird-ass dreams.