Shitless Thoughts

After writing a few entries without using a random word generator, it feels like a step back to use it again. Still, it’s better to use that and write something than not writing anything at all. It’s not that I haven’t had any of my own thoughts in the past day but the topics don’t feel rich enough to blog about. It’s not like I’m going to write about what I thought about every time I took a shit. …Actually, I did that at one point and people apparently enjoyed that quite a bit. I had more readers then than any other time lol. I actually come up with some of my most interesting thoughts while sitting on the can. It’s one of few times I can sit and think to myself without any electronic devices around. Silly as it may sound, the shitter is an awesome place to get lost in deep thoughts. But my shits have been too quick lately. Who knew that having a healthy bowel would be detrimental to being an interesting blogger. I could just write about my day; anything could be made interesting. But I’m going with the random words because interesting mundane things are probably not as good as interesting varied topics. …”Interesting” may be too strong a word.

 

Okay, first word is strickle. A strickle was originally a blunt rod used to level off heaps of grain so that they can be properly measured. Gradually, that word gets used for a number of other tools that has the features of a blunt rod. And now, in modern gadget-driven society, that word isn’t used at all. Who’s even heard of the word strickle? I know I haven’t. If that word were more commonplace, it would surely be eventually added to the multitude of euphemisms for penis. I wonder if the verb would make it into sex though. Strickling is more of a combing motion, and as far as I know, people don’t horizontally comb pussies with their dicks as part of foreplay. Let’s try envisioning it: A man behind a woman, holding up one of her legs and tilting her to the side a little, demonstrating ample strength and control. Forming a perpendicular “T” with the entrance of the vagina, he combs his hard dick along the outside. With every stroke, it feels like he may be about to enter her and she gasps in anticipation of the good feelings to come. Sounds like it could be a good tease if it’s done right. By expanding our verbal vernacular, we would also expand our sexual vernacular.

 

Next word is familyish. Funny that that’s the word we get after I just turned the last one into a sex word. Sex is a pretty familyish activity. It’s necessary in order to start a family but then it’s taboo for it to take place within the family thereafter. Even with the parents, they have to secretly do it behind the children’s backs, not literally right behind them of course. Incest is an interesting topic and it feels taboo to even call it interesting. First off, anything non consensual or reproductive is objectively bad, but I think there could be argument to be made for recreational incest. If you look around at certain corners of the internet, those are tons of these stories, especially between cousins. It’s easy to judge others if you haven’t been put into the situation where you have a sexy person seducing you who also happens to be your cousin. Under certain circumstances, when you don’t have easy access to sex and you really want it (maybe because you’re a horny teenager still living with parents) and then you’re presented with alone time with another person who also wants it bad, you can’t really blame them for doing it, as long as they stay safe. I’m not trying to justify my past or anything. I haven’t been blessed with any sexy sisters or cousins so I’ve never done anything of the like. Maybe I am trying to justify my thoughts though since I did just used the word “blessed” in the last sentence.

 

The next word is schorl. A schorl is a type of tourmaline that is black and rich in iron. Now the next question is, what the fuck is a tourmaline? I’m learning two words here, two for one deal. Is there a word for having to look up a word within the definition of another word? Maybe that’s just called stupid, meta-stupid, lol. I could regurgitate the composition of tourmaline but basically it’s just a pretty rock and it’s much more interesting to see it than read about it, so here you go:

Tourmaline

Tourmaline

 

I wonder if anyone ever used the word schorl metaphorically to describe a black person within a group. It might be possible that everyone open-minded enough to know a word like this aren’t racists so they won’t use the word like I just did. Come on, there has to be racist jewellers out there, right? Not that I’m encouraging racism or anything, but I also don’t believe that everything racey is racist. I’m sure plenty of people have written about that already.

 

Next word is synonymized. That is an awesome word. I love seeing words in new forms I haven’t seen before. It’s like seeing a pokemon evolve that you didn’t know could evolve. Unfortunately, it’s not a very useful word. Still sounds cool though. I’m trying to think of even one example I could use that word and it’s tough. Merging is a more appropriate word in most cases and in a society where we’re discouraged from generalizing and stereotyping things, that leaves less room for me to synonymize. I want to be a synonymist, just for the title. Actually, I think I might be doing that already. I find out all these uncommon words and I find more common words that are synonymous. Yay, I’m a synonymist. I’m pretty sure I know what that means based on the root word, but sometimes a word could mean something I completely did not expect.

 

Unexpected word definitions lead to funny stories. I know a guy who once thought “obese” just meant chubby and that fat was a more insulting term. I corrected him. Can you imagine all the times he may have accidentally called someone obese? “No no, you’re not fat at all, you’re just obese, mom.” I have a way more embarrassing story than that. I’m not saying I’m not fat, but I’m also “big-boned”. I’ve got pretty dense bones and muscles so my BMI misrepresents me. Nobody called me fat or anything, but one day I randomly decided to call myself dense. When you call someone dense, it means they’re stupid. I was not fully aware of that. So I basically went around, stupidly calling myself stupid without even knowing it. It was autological behaviour. There, I used a new word I learned in a previous entry =D.

 

Last word is reflectingly. I always reflect on what I just wrote and now I have excuse to talk about it. I always talk about it anyway, but now I have an excuse too. The last few times I did these random word entries, I felt that I was unable to use the words as jumping off points for fun stories. I think this entry turned out pretty good so I like these random words again. I need better titles though. This one really sucked. Anyway, it’s been fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it!

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My Favorite Tweets Part 1

Being the narcissist that I am, these are all my own tweets. I’m reposting my tweets because I have a negligible amount of twitter followers and I want more people to read my shit, even if it’s mediocre shit.

@tedgaming_ted

 

I wiki’d – “..the condition of having at least three loose or liquid bowel movements each day..” I thought I only need 1

When my is about to get interrupted, it’s hard to decide whether I should stop or finish.

It’s okay for to describe themselves as “good at playing with kids.” It’s less okay for to say it.

The most I got this month was walking to the store to buy chips. The more I bought, the more of a workout I would get carrying it.

I hate using the word “whom”. It always sound so : “Look at me, I know how to use it properly.”

I’m either a high functioning or a low functioning non autistic.

When drops in the , for a moment, I freeze and wonder if I should reach in for it. Then I realize, , of course I should!

aside, I have so much in common with

Don’t be a about pussies.

When I’m , I get a big on my face and that makes me .

 

 

 

Lower Than The Lowest Lows

The title’s pretty stupid. It doesn’t really make sense. I seem to have lost my ability and interest to write anything decent. I’m constantly reaching new lows in life. I’m definitely lower than I’ve ever been before and sadly, it’s probably still going to keep getting lower. The first low point I’ve ever reached was when I tried out online dating. Online dating doesn’t have nearly as much stigma as it used to, but the moment I decided to try it was still a depressing one. I was admitting that I couldn’t find a girl in real life. The moment a person decides to try online dating doesn’t need to be a depressing one, but it is often depressing and it was depressing for me. Failing at online dating makes it even worse.

The next low point was when I decided to try to find a girlfriend off craigslist. Finding a hooker would be fine, that’s just business. But girlfriend? That’s getting a little desperate. Failing at that makes things worse as well. Over the past couple years, I repeatedly tried it over and over again even though I rarely even get a response, let alone someone who’s interested. There are a lot of spam bots out there pretending that they’re girls worried about their safety and telling you to go to a certain site to pay $1 for a background check so that they know you’re safe. Luckily, I haven’t fallen for those. That definitely would’ve been a new low. But I did spend more time replying to those pre-written bot emails than I did with real girls – still a new low.

Then I went through several years of getting progressively more depressed, losing interest in movies, games, food, life. Naturally, it doesn’t take long to lose motivation to work when nothing’s enjoyable anymore. I can’t pinpoint specific events to these, but new lows were definitely being made. Finally, my latest new low is a sequel to the hooker story I wrote about in the last post. Seeing a hooker isn’t lowly. Developing feelings for a hooker is pretty bad. Developing feelings for a fat ugly hooker? Well that’s just retarded. That’s where I’m at…

After writing the last post, I decided to email the hooker and I went to see her that night. I just wanted some boob play and cuddling and someone to talk to. Okay, that sounds really lame. It was. It is. Let me redeem myself a little. I’m not desperate to talk to just anyone. I want someone to talk to regularly and frequently. Why I thought a hooker could fill that void was just plain stupid. There’s no redeeming that part. When I finally saw her, she was fat. I thought she was gonna be maybe a little overweight but nope, she was fat. I’m not attracted to fat. I’m not being super mean here and trying to make girls worry about their bodies. This girl clearly didn’t worry about it at all. Skinny isn’t attractive either. Lazy isn’t attractive as well. If a girl looks like she’s active, then she’ll look great. When I’m not ridden by depression, I’m a very active person with endless amounts of energy. I could be sporting and exercising all day and I’ll still have energy to do more that night and the next day and the next day. Naturally, I would be attracted to active people too. I’m not picky at all. Easily over 70% of girls are attractive to me. As long as you don’t like look you’ll die from walking up a flight of stairs, you look great. If you look like a bean bag chair, you probably don’t look great.

Anyway, I chatted with the hooker and I tried to befriend her. I learned all about her current situation and we decided we’d meet again as friends. I couldn’t sleep that night. I’m not really sure why, but then I eventually thought of a scenario where I could invite her to live in my house so she can sort out her life. Yes, it sounds really stupid when written. It’s not as stupid if you know the exact details I have planned, but it’s still pretty stupid. If she were a hot attractive girl, my stupidity would be understandable at least. But now it’s just pure stupidity with no excuse.

Before I make the final stupid decision, I would need to talk to her thoroughly and ask her a lot of questions to find any reason not to do it. It didn’t take me long at all to catch her not living up to my fantasy but it was still irrefutably stupid that I considered it so seriously. At least I dodged that bullet I guess. I have no idea what stupid shit I’ll do next. If it doesn’t cost me my life, I’ll probably be blogging about it. I might record a podcast tomorrow with more details on the hooker story.

Used and Tossed Aside

That’s how I feel right now. I sort of regret telling my story to a couple people because now I don’t feel like retelling the story again due to my dislike of repetition. In a number of previous posts, I prefaced stories by saying that I was living at my aunt’s house. I won’t be needing that preface anymore because I’m no longer living there. Over the past month, my aunt kept calling me her son and calling her daughters my sisters. My aunt had wanted to “save” me from my parents by providing me with a better environment to live in but of no choice of my own, I’m back living with my parents. Good fucking job.

The official reason I was living with my aunt was to help her take care of her dying husband. I helped take care of the guy; I’ve moved their bed up and down the stairs; I’ve done more than my share of cleaning; shoveled a shitload of snow (for 3 fucking houses: my aunt’s, her daughter’s, and my parents’); performed handiwork; made a 277 picture slideshow where half the pictures needed to be scanned; got two friends in addition to myself to be pallbearers and carried the casket to the grave, and I get sent back home before the day ends.

I know I’m putting a bad spin on the situation but it’s hard to see the good side of things. I can identify 3 main sources at work here. First, her three daughters have gathered back home and they’re keeping the house lively. They’re rather noisy and bitchy for my taste and as a result, I’ve put in less effort holding back my depression in the past couple days. I still responded when spoken to (I responded fairly pleasantly and with some decent jokes in there too) but I had an overall lack of life in the way I moved and stared into space. Still, I wasn’t a drag because I’ve been completely busy with doing work for them. If two days of seeing the tip of the iceberg of my depression was too much, it was retarded for her to think she could help me at all.

I will give my aunt the benefit of the doubt and say that the third reason is the main reason I was kicked out. Should we euphemize it by saying I was “moved back home”? The third reason is my mom. She called and kept telling my aunt that she and my dad misses me and wants me back home. Then with me, she tells me to go home to give my aunt and cousins some private time to mourn. I didn’t give a shit about my mom’s stupid information-withholding games and I just told my aunt what she told me. My aunt does this annoying thing that a lot of stupid people do. She’ll state her opinions very strongly but in the face of other people’s opinions, she’ll change her original opinion very easily. Changing your mind is fine, but if you do, then don’t be so fucking sure of your original thoughts because they’re wrong. In an attempt to appease the most people, she suggested I go back home and move back in on Tuesday (The day of eviction was Friday). Sure, go ahead and appease everyone except Ted because Ted doesn’t matter. He doesn’t bitch like everyone else so he obviously doesn’t have feelings. If sending me back home was for my parents’ sake, then that’s still stupid. The whole point of living at her place was to get me away from my parents. My life isn’t just a “let’s raise a son” game for her.

I don’t think I’ll be going back on Tuesday. I’m not doing that because of spite. Her home was no improvement from mine and I’m tired of moving my computer around. I was actually reluctant to move in at first because I knew it wasn’t going to do shit for my depression and I didn’t want to drag more people down by being around them when I’m depressed. I knew better so I resisted moving in, but other relatives from the sidelines kept bitching that I should do it and that I’m not even trying to improve my depression. Nobody ever takes my opinions seriously and isn’t it amazing how everything turned out exactly as I predicted? Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

Stupid Superstitions

All superstitions are stupid. Even if it happened to be correct, there is a thing called coincidence. Recently, with all the funeral planning, superstitions come up a lot. Dumb people are annoying. The smarter they think they are, the more annoying they are. Most people are dumb. So generally, the smarter anyone thinks they are, the more annoying they are. I’m probably the most annoying asshole out there in this context.

When someone is being superstitious, that person is clearly being superstitious. But when someone is strongly against superstitions, they are also being superstitious. Just because you don’t agree with certain superstitions doesn’t mean you’re not superstitious. If you really aren’t superstitious, you wouldn’t need to be so strongly against it, apathy will triumph.

There are probably religious people out there who thinks they’re not superstitious. To refrain from being more of an asshole than I already am, I will say nothing more.

SFT Podcast Episode 35 – PSW Man Talk, Dumb Honesty

Before reading 50 Shades of Grey, I did a 30 minute podcast of rambling about stuff. I think this episode is alright. It’s probably better than the next one…

Dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/s/dyszu1jjwmafaj3/SFT-0035-PSW_Man_Talk%2CDumb_Honesty.mp3?m=

Youtube: http://youtu.be/gyz5wnvsLE4

If the above link doesn’t work, you should always check here (https://tedgaming.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/where-to-download-sad-funny-truthful-podcast/) for the updated links to download the podcast. I will also provide the link to download all the episodes there and it might even have newer and better links.

Sponsor:

koncepp.com

Web hosting starting at $5 a month. You might get more discount if you mention this podcast. I don’t know. I don’t really care anymore lol.

There Are Haters, And Then There Are Assholes.

So… I released a game last week. It’s just a limited release and got over 50k views in a week, blah blah blah. It’s not wildly successful or anything, but it’s nothing to scoff at either. Going in, I knew that the world was full of stupid people but it seems I couldn’t predict how stupid people can get. Stupidity truly knows no bounds. There are a lot of haters who’ll just hate shit for no reason. They’re annoying, but they don’t really bother me much. Haters are like farts. Like a douchebag passing by and farting a cloud in your face. As much as it sucks, it goes away in a few moments. But then there are assholes that are made of pure hate. Unlike haters and their farts, these assholes take a full shit in your house and you have to go out of your way to clean that shit up. Sure, you can ignore the shit and just wait for it to decompose into dust, but that’s not very good. …I’m not sure if the analogy holds up at this point. I also don’t know why I always use shit in my analogies.

Anyway, I encountered a giant asshole today. Right off the bat, the site seemed a little off. Most places probably have less than 10% assholes and the rest of humanity is usually surprisingly pleasant. This site seemed to have at least 90% asshole. I’m slowly putting the pieces together and it kind of makes sense. The site specializes in finding web games, creating cheats for them, and posting the game on their site with the cheats. The staff seems to have the decency to keep my ads within the game, so they’re not “stealing” anything from me. But then I should’ve realized that players who seek out cheats for games have no integrity and that carries over to all aspects of life.

I try to respond to every comment. Whenever I comment, I always want someone to respond to them and I felt like I should deliver that to as many people as possible. If I didn’t care about people reading my comment, then I wouldn’t make the comment at all. If the comment is a little shitty, I still try to respond positively, giving the person the benefit of the doubt. If a comment is really shitty, I just ignore them because I know people are retarded and there’s no point in engaging them. However, one particular comment stuck out to me a little. I could easily just ignore it, but I felt like pissing him off for fun. I can easily detach myself conversation and maybe the drama will draw some people in. Bad publicity is good publicity and all that jazz, you know?

This is the first comment that caught my attention:

Damn tedgaming, are you of such low self esteem that all you have is the desire to troll your a$$ off and making weird almost nonsensical comments towards anyone and everyone? Dude we get it, you “made” this game, and you think it’s top notch.

I responded with this:

What kind of imbecilic retard reads comments and then complains that there are comments? I’m making sure that the game’s working and offering info about the game. Wtf are you doing here? Are you of such feeble mind that you need to female dog about dust?

That last line was a product of the site’s censorship. It was supposed to be “bitch about shit” instead of “female dog about dust”. His response is:

I guess I rest my case. At no time in your incoherent ramblings did you make any sort of sense. Are you Drunk? Drugging? Both? Just do us all a favor and crawl back in that dark hole you call a home, and STFU. Thanks for shopping, bye-bye now…

I respond with: (I hate these I respond, he respond lines, lol.)

I’m sorry that you lack the ability to comprehend logic and simple censorship.

He said:

Just giving u the FYI, it seems that the only person alive that will listen 2 u is urself. I guess marveling @ your own magnificent’s knows no bounds it will continues till one day you realize that ur the only 1 around who will believe ur own bs

Then I said:

If I were a troll, then I would’ve succeeded in trolling you. Touche to you for trolling me too. I don’t get how you can be so blind to that.

He just wrote another response but it’s riddled with grammatical errors and nonsense. I think I broke him. Oh, and I forgot to mention the weirdest part of this. The first comment I quoted was actually this guy’s 2nd comment to my game. His first comment was:

This is a pretty good game. I do like the blood gore, especially when u do headshots or using ur grenades. IDK if it’s ppl’s setup, maybe the reason ppl r having probs w/loading is their web browser. Firefox, or I.E seems 2 b crap w/Larger games.

I expected his kind of behavior from someone who didn’t like the game, but this guy just seems like a total mess. I’m bored with him now. If he tries to instigate shit again and it’s amusing, then I’ll write another blog post about it. He probably won’t be very amusing though.